Billu meets Mallu !

Billu Shah, the hippie from Chennai got a free ticket. From a city of Nakka Mukka and autorickshaw thieves, this was the first time that a GUJ-BHUJ-BU_JI saw the far away mallu land, also known to the outsiders as Thuffai or Gelf.

Before leaving for the gulf, Billu met a barber, who trimmed him to a furless human looking item.

With Chinki's as air-HOTess & camels on either side of the airport to welcome our long_fellow, the air was full of gall-uping cheer.

Expecting the Chennai airport & railways station style of swarming by the yellow auto bug-gers, Billu stepped down all armed with 50 ps, 1 Re, 2 Re & 5 Re coins to bargain.

With the coins laughing from all the six pockets, the specs clad Chennai Shehen-SHAH searched for the autorick-SHAH’s to bargain.

Awed at the sparkling floors and windows, the already mouth agape billu, slipped into a trance seeing the driver Shaji standing with a board which read -

"Welcome to Mr. Billu".

"Good Morning Sir"

Billu: How much to New Salaka

"10 sir"

Billu who is habituated to bargaining said - "No, take me for 5"

"No sir, not possible"

Billu: Am your guest, take me for 5 or else I will complain

"Impossible sir"

Billu calls up the in-charge and shouts: "How can your driver not take me for 5 when he should take me for Zero !? He still says 10 to New Salaka"

Officer: "Yes sir. It had been 10 miles to New Salaka from the past 50 years. Cannot help it"

Billu: Ohh, miles... !

(While travelling, Shaji and Billu became close friends)

The only thing he found common in 'Movies own Chennai' and 'God's own Gelf', is the expense on water. Billu, as a researcher, instead of thinking about the ways to use water as fuel is already thinking of using water for cooking and oil for bathing, in Dubai & Chennai.

(The travel continued)

After only having seen a SATYAM in Chennai, a lost Billu obviously asked Shaji whether all these huge buildings on the wayside are Satyam theatres !

"No sir, they are all NAIR's teashops"

Billu couldn't believe his eyes, when he saw the same old Nair's tea and Pazhampori clad in yellow suit.

As good at heart the Mallus are, the driver asked Billu - "Sir, can I take you for a ride?"

Billu: (In his mind, underestimating the Mallu Drivers capability in English) Poor chap, doesn't know proper English & is asking a copywriter like me whether he can take me for a ride!

(Ignoring the sentence as a mistake, Billu says with confidence) Why not?

Shaji takes Billu for a ride and when Billu got back to his senses, knew that the ceiling of Dufffaaai airport has beautiful tiles.

The Mallu Shaji had indeed taken Billu for a ride.

Now, staying in Dubai airport without a transit Visa, our Billu Barber is rechristened as Billu Mallu "Sheikh" after he was really shaken by the Mallu driver.

(Someone had apparently told BILLU that TERMINAL was made by Steven Spielberg)

Now "sheikh" is stranded and waiting for Steven Spielberg to make Terminal II, III & IV in Chennai Railway Station.

(Billu like his Director thought that Steven is a budding building architect who makes terminals wherever he goes)

SATYAM ! ! ! ;)

New Media Enthusiast

First semester topper, Advertising 2010, when given her first toy ! :P

Model Courtesy: My friend's daughter, who is just 6 months old.

FM Tintumon

Tintu mon from Kottayam, Kerala has Financial Management in his fourth semester.

A lover of love, and a worshiper of cupid, Tintu Mon's favourite color is RED and weapon, the Bow & Arrow !

With financial management, his mismanaged love also is now back in the old tracks. His love market corrected itself, but only after he knew with fin man' on where he lacked.

Let me tell you how.

His investments in love had been good choices, but wrong decisions, by investing 100 love shares of Re 1 value each in 100 different girls.

Now correcting to 51 shares in one and 49 in another (as backup).

A long way to go, he is indeed happy to be associated with SIMC, Pune & Bangalore .. remember 49 shares ! ;)

Major, Minor or SIMC event?

Some people understand a little late in life that they got lime juice mixed with soda powder instead of salt, received 22 carrot instead of 22 carat for their wedding etc.

Similarly, Midhun also came to know of certain truths when he checked the Gtalk list of friends, which reads in the following order.

Sahil

Zehen@SIMC

Swetha S

Annual Alumni Meet 2009

Sushant Kamble

HR Meet 2010

Faisal Siddiqui

Sports Media Meet 2010

Kausik

FOC 2010

Nitin Kanhekar

DAM 2010

& just as he was about to sign out, a junior came online

Ipsita

GCMC 2010

Event Management in the name of an MBA ! ;)

It is heard that the next year event schedule is already charted in the event-fool college.

New Instructions are written below.

All first letters with 'N' to be changed to 'G'. Else, strictly add a G-Spot to the existing names!

Eg: If it is FOC, change it to GFOC, Zehen to Gehen, DAM to GDAM etc !

This is done by keeping in mind the tradition of going Global or Glocal from local. As a courtesy, the holed Globe, which lay in place of the bathroom tiled fountain, is replenished near a YOU CAN SEE place.

New Global Idiot is also being launched after the hype around the movie '3 idiots'. One out of the three is already identified by the college students. Once the other two are also found, students are sure to receive amazing prizes in the form of a 'Smiling pen holder', 'Rainbow shirts convertible to bedsheets', 'A 24 hour switched on radio with 24 hours non-stop nonsense' etc etc.

So, rush in your entries before Midhun grabs the opportunity !

P.S: A new classification of event known as the "SIMC event" is being incorporated along with the "Major Event" & "Minor event" taught in colleges around the G'lobe.

These are defined in Wikipedia as follows: A set of happenings, which has no definite outcome or purpose, but at least gets done shabbily, with an amount called seed capital.

Engineering a Media Plan

The advertising student hailing from a 'Boys-must-be-engineers' family gets his dream job as a copywriter.

An overwhelmed HE calls up his mom and speaks as follows.

"Mom, I am a copywriter"

"Beta, why don't you write it on your own, at least now?

The chest full of proud loses a little of air.

"Mom, what I meant is copywriting as a job."

"Beta, I too had an intelligent friend who but copied all his life and wrote, only to have lost it all one fine day, when caught."

"Please understand Mom. This is a position in advertising which are adorned by people like me who have an ability to play with words."

"No Beta, even if you have to play with words, please do not copy"

"Phewww... I am quitting & going to the news channel"

"Ok son. God bless"

After a few weeks of landing up as an anchor, a plum position in some popular news channel, mom rings him up.

Being busy with work, son picks the phone and says

"Mom, am 'breaking news'. I will call later"

(Suddenly, mom shouts out loud and angrily)

"You break whatever you want to, but unlike in college, don't call later & ask for money as fine"

The phone goes mute for a while like a temporary Doordarshan blackout !

Internship extension stories

After a long time in college, suddenly the students have become absolute professionals, really understood from their status messages and some of the mails received in my inbox.

Some case studies

A journalism trainee

"Dear Council, I will come on the reopening day, just to write the exam and will leave for Mumbai as the news bulletins aren't happening without me."

Even after 4 days, the same soul is on campus and the "DD" news continues without an issue.

On a query, the answer is - "The peon shortened his leave and is back" ;)

In short - The intern needn't prepare the cup of tea anymore ! :P

An advertising trainee

Status message - " I miss my WORKSTATION"

Oops ! Suddenly made us feel that she was in search of work and reached a station selling work ! akin to a Gas station.

Another PR trainee

"Going back to Mumbai to finish unfinished business"

My Gwad ! Looks as if he is just hired by OBLaden & AQaeda PR Associates.

An AV-ian

They need me till the end of December.

Why?

Dude, the Director fell ill. As they were too impressed with my work, am told to complete the movie ! :P

Overheard: "Regil, I am coming on time to the campus as my company is now equipped to work even without me ! ;)"

The Photo-grapher !

A sorry state of affairs

The faculty who teaches basic photography to future MEDIA professionals clicked a job for the council, & professionally for the PLACEMENT BROCHURE. Ultimately more work for the students of the council !

An example here is with Swetha's picture.

Do check the identity card !

I just do not understand why we Indians still hold on for the mediocre when we can get better talent. The education in India is pathetic. We still treat the disease without investing any time or money to investigate the real cause of the disease.

PITY !

Batman & Batwoman

The junior batman of UG shares the AV database with ‘Smiling Assasin’ alone as the senior batwoman ‘supposedly’ shares it along with a password with ‘You Can See’ only.

The truth being that the batwoman has nothing but excuses to share. Better if the batman can mail in the excel-lent sheet and get the AV some jobs!

Good work UG on getting all your 120 to organizations where the seniors couldn’t even reach.

Winners at SIMC !

New event at FOC 2010

Going in sync with the selected theme of war/battle at FOC, the events team at SIMC has decided to introduce a unique, yet interesting game called spam-o-war. Though it is sure that Sidkid will steal the thunder after being the uncrowned winner from ages, Debunk yaar will be a close competitor.

With awards ranging from spamming of simc.edu's and threats to spam gmail.com's, sidkid had had a long stint as Mr. Spammer at many an online event conducted by booboo.in and paapaa.com. His concepts are unique, inclusive of threatening juniors, batchmates and his classmates with venomous writing skills, though leaking in his pants at the thought of Manipur naxalites. His vacation from Manipur footprints, leaving the three girls to fend for themselves is a story of grit & courage or 'GUTS' according to his lingo.

Essay Writing competition.

The Director at a certain Symbiosis Institute won the essay writing competition held online by spamindia.com, headed by the whizkid CEO Mr. Sidkid.
Later Mr. Sidkid, acknowledged the fact that it was a big error on the judging panel to award the Director, as they mistook his SIGNATURE in the email to be the conclusive paragraph of the essay. The award now goes to one Mrs. Swanal of brandswasted.com, again for her signature !

Kidkid and Sidkid

A few SIMCians are appointed in a corporate house.

First day - 'We welcome to the family....blah blah blah.. Your email id is sidkid@kidkid.com

To the second one - Your id is - 'dumbkid@spoilkid.com

(As eager and silly as the kid he is, opens the mail box)

The first mail he finds is from the CEO

Dear staff,

As you may have heard, bright minds over at kidkid removed “Reply to All” button to eliminate bureaucracy and inefficiency.

We developed four Mail toolbar configurations for different departments... blah blah blah…

Our sidkid who is a just pass out from the cameras and videos of SIMC cannot resist his habit of simc.edu and clicks the 'Reply to all' button which will be available for a few more dying days.

The reply goes - "ROFLMAO"

The CEO feels like the boxers bag that is punched a 100 times.

Just as he feels the heat building up in him, the inbox cries - 'ping ping'

He reads the next mail, again a reply to all - 'whoa ... wad a F***ing reply ... he he :D Now I know where all your ideas collate and therefore don't relate. Heights of Obscured DESPERATION' :D :P ;) :)

Along with was added all the smilies that he practised during the 4 semesters at SIMC.

The CEO gasps for breath and searches frantically for the inhaler.

The kidkid again writes.

'LMAO. What the bloody F*** do you think the world is all about you A**h***? I am the one with guts, am the one with courage. Kiss me if you can and BLAH..."

And then the dumdkid writes again

"Sidkid ... loved the Boo thing :D..... lmao"

Finally, the very own CEO, like it often happens at SIMC, where the Director also 'replies to all' out of no avail, presses the button that he had decided to eliminate.

"Who are these pests and where have they come from?"

Within a fraction of a second the sidkid and dumbkid mails again in the same tone.

"I seem to have irked the CEO...well did you expect me to send you a bouquet of flowers for sending me this 'reply to all' shit. your post is getting to your head...unless you are an ardent admirer of technology and derive great pleasure in telling the world about ur technical expertise. To you about who i think i am...i am a guy who had the guts to speak up against ur cheap thrills and coming from the great institute called SIMC, Pune."

The CEO not only spams the sidkid and dumbkid, but dismisses the HR and the interviewers, which unfortunately included him as well. With a resignation letter in his hand, the CEO also slightly gets the SIMC syndrome and "replies to all" as follows.

"F*** o** you spammers... Am LMAO ROTFL.."

And the rest is history. All the staff followed suit. Thanks to the two SIMC-ians, the company is now the 'organisation with GUTS' ;) :P :D who adds all smilies available.

Daughter-in-law

Do you know what happens when the daughter in law enters her new house?

The mother-in-law probes with her secretive whiskers in the air & checks how much of her freedom or space is at stake.

Now what happens when the daughter-in-law tries to play dirty?

An example

The daughter-in-law came shy and confused. Once she got the hang of things over there, she showed her true colours. Excerpts from her postcard to the Sarpanch.

Case1
ABC came to me & said - "Regil is working over everything, his job is not to fix internships but then too he did for few students...Regil is just there to Supervise the council/overall activities especially FOC"

Case 2
"Regil,then came to me questioning."
"Abcdea Sir was also very upset with Regil's attitude"

Case3
"Regil came to know about it & thought I had asked not to fix XYZ's internship just because "he is in likely to discontinue list". Instead of trusting me & confirming the fact,he wrote the mail attached below,which was difficult for me accept.

The Poor soul did not know that a postcard can't be posted in an envelope & the classic English literature came to light ! ! !

Cheers to the new lady of SIMC !

& for you - we will meet again in a different job profile ! ! !

Moonuppers & Hunger

Yesterday I saw the Institute Director with tears in his eyes. So, a conversation ensued. The transcripts are here

R: Sir, I can see tears in your eyes. What happened?

D: (In the family serial style) they aren’t brimming with tears. JUST DUST...

R: Yes sir, too much of dust pollution. Global warming, Glacier melting, Climatic change, Crop loss, Famine, Hunger, Death...

(Suddenly tears flow out incessantly. Yes readers, you guessed right. Similar to the well designed buildings at Lavale during rains…)

D: Stop boy, stop. I can't take this any further. Don't hurt me anymore with this conversation. You know what, Mr.President. I was indeed crying after an excruciating pain before you met me. But alongside came like a soothing breeze, the underlying joy to know that my efforts have finally started bearing fruits.

R: Ohh, so you were actually crying! What’s the matter sir?

D: Since you also know the route this world is heading towards, it's right to talk to you.

R: Yes Sir. Let me know.

D: I know that many at SIMC are in disagreement with the NGO internship. All the coconaughty blogs were satire on my love for events. Am aware that the majority in SIMC are not in conjunction with the idea of events

R: (Murmurs to himself... ) So, you were aware & still continue torturing the poor souls, except a Nikhita, who got value worth 18 lakhs from SIMC for the 6 lakhs paid in fees....

D: What?

R: Nothing sir, I was just thinking of Nikhita, who learned a lot with her forte which is events management, the same which SIMC provides in abundance. You continue sir…

D: Hmm….(A sigh) But now I know that people have learned how important events are & NGO internships were. New ideas have evolved. New plans in place. A combo of events & NGO. A new era is on the rising….

(Eyeballs pop out like in the Tom & Jerry cartoons & to stop the excess flow of words, I interfere)

Though with a dreaded thought of whether the joy unbound means more events in the platter, I gathered courage from the left over spaces of my brain and asked

R: But how sir?

D: A group of students who used to do nothing other than drink (Read transparent liquids like....water) after the sun went down at Shree are today in pursuit of real MOONUPPERS.

R: (Still wearing the SPIKE (Dog in Tom&Jerry) look) Kya?

D: Yeah, am now proud of a couple of my students, who have clubbed the idea of NGO internships from semester 1 & Sundowners from events in every semester to eradicate poverty. They founded MOONUPPERS. This brought tears to my eyes.. This phenomenal idea & mission whispers that am finding my efforts nearing fruition.

R: Sir, but to eradicate poverty in SIMC, it would be better if the mess food is improved and the excessive extortion (read fees) is lessened.

D: No dear, this is not about SIMC. The MOONUPPERS in SIMC with a facebook account of 1500 simc’ans from the present batch are getting ready to..….

R: (Interrupts) sir, 220+210+240(UG) makes it 680 only….

D: Am foresighted.

R: What’s in hindsight?

D: My vision sees 1500 on campus next year.

R: Hallucination? OR does it mean we are vying for the ninth wonder of the world?

D: nahi, Visual communication…

R: But facebook?

D: Yeah, as told to me by the Team MOONUPPER members, this is to fool the sponCers, with a ‘C’

R: Why a ‘C’?

D: That is strategy to woo the ‘C’OO’s, ‘C’EO’s, ‘C’FO’s and other ‘C’s of Marketing communications.

R: Wow, appreciated. Btw whose idea sir?

D: From the strong bonding of communications management & mass communication erupted this idea of ‘C’ in communicating to the sponCers.

R: Amazing ‘Convergence!

D: Thanks to them

R: Sir, but getting back to NGO, MOONUPPERS, EVENTS…

D: Yeah, don’t you remember that I had told you that we will make FOC & DAM global this time?

R: Yes sir, I do. But, except going round and round like the globe on a fixed axis, what else has become global here?

D: That’s what! This time MOONUPPERS is a global phenomenon

R: Even otherwise moon comes up somewhere in the globe.

D: Yeah, now I know your awareness level regarding events.

R: Sorry sir.

D: Never mind. We are focusing Africa

R: (In Tamil style) Africaaaava?

D: Yeah, Antarctica is cold.

R: India?

D: India and hunger are not related.

R: (I lose my cool and shout) Have you met any of SIMCian’s parents off late? Many are in penury after paying our fees clubbed with the quality mess food. Poverty looms large on the rest of the parents. With recession having hit hard, they have lost hope & look emaciated. Parents from the senior batch are enquiring what lies ahead!!!

D: Events.

(Phewww… Moonuppers galore who ultimately found meaning in combining the NGO experience & events to start a facebook account to fool global CFO’s into paying money for events, if not jobs. Kudos! Claps! Hat off!)

How does it matter even if you haven't got the thirst of hunger to deliver. Nevertheless, the hunger for an MBA is eradicated….

Lavale in Newspapers !

A Random thought !

Is it mere coincidence that the college ATM also behaves like the University? You insert your card and cash comes only when you trigger the FASH CASH button.

Genetic it seems ! Or is it just that once anything comes to Symbi campuses gets into the habit of withdrawing fast-cash or say extorting cash from the hard earned pockets ?

Another exercise ! ! !

The college ground is dug. They made a mountain out of the dug earth. Now they are filling the holes and know not where to put the remaining earth they dug out.

So, the colonel has come up with a classic idea to dig more holes to accommodate the remaining earth... But...now, the engineer has a new confusion !

Where will he keep the freshly dug earth? SIU rocks :P err.. SIU & rocks... ;)

A BLUE-tiful exercise !

Chandrayaan - I & Mars Pathfinder had commonly reported of a blue coloured sprinkler structure that could be seen from Mars & Moon. NASA scientists special research wings confirm this to the jet of water found at Lavale. The bathroom blue(S) of the so called marvel is glaringly reflected even on the surface of moon. The presence of water on Moon as confirmed by Chandrayan is even reported to be a result of this jet of water.

"It looks as if the leftover bathroom tiles are put to some use. A new Nek Chand and Rock garden is in the making"- Said Environment scientist, Bluekaysee at a conference, which was also attended by Discovery channel who offered cash to crash into the blue-tiling futile effort.

Awards announced

The great architect of the year award was received by the person-in-charge at Symbiosis who designed and executed the so-called-fountain. The pseudo-aesthetic moron who approved the design is rumoured to receive the first Nobel for helping the world in a major way with Design awareness.

Norwegian Nobel Committee cited the reason behind this nomination as to have helped many a student to spring back to life. One of the students in terms of anonymity told that the confidence instilled is students of various countries with the fountain installation is immeasurable. Many students who till date rued their fate of being the worst on planet earth in Design also got a fresh lease of life.

This award is also nominated for initiating & inculcating better design sense in students after experiential viewing. The awareness it brought is inexplicable, this taught our students how very good campuses can also be spoilt by men without mercy, said a press-ed release by Prof. Youcansee.

N.B: Special blue spectacles which nullify blue-effects are being donated to students. This helps in saving the retina and promises better vision possibilities even after viewing tragic constructions on planet earth.

Fest-O-Comm ! ! !

HEIGHTS OF (MIS)COMMUNICATION : (Click on the above picture;)

If not for this golden opportunity to l-"earn" my MBA in Communications Management from Symbiosis at Lavale, I would have missed meeting this unique plant accredited with a doctorate and a designation ! ! !

What will a so called foreign delegate on campus infer from this ?

That the tall, thin, long, leafless plant is Dr. S.B. Majumdar ? or is it that Dr. S.B. Majumdar looks like this ???

Even in local Govt Schools, the trees planted by eminent personalities are labelled as - Planted by "Xyz" on "xx/yy/zzzz"

Or is it that Symbiosis is privileged to write what they feel like?

Dear Symbiosis-INTERNATIONAL-University,

We ignored all your previous blunders, but this is three much ..errrr... TREE much for us to accept.

This is the actual FESTIVAL-OF-COMMUNICATION ! ! !

THE individuals and Society ? ! ! !

You can't blame symbiosis for not returning the mess fees for the 6 months when we are not on campus. Did you not read the MISSION statement before entering Lavale campus?

If you are not too sure about the nuances of the English Language, read this carefully.

The MISSION statement says - To create & to advance, to propagate and to apply knowledge in all fields for the sustained growth of the individuals and Society.

THE individuals mean some very specific people in the Symbiosis family. Obviously, it's not a mistake like you earlier thought it to be ;)

Now, for the rest of it, please watch closely, the "S" of the society is in capital letters, which again means the Symbiosis SOCIETY.

Now tell me, can you blame Symbiosis in any way for being whichever way they are? :P

Snake Scam !

The latest Movie Library

A new Cinema Library is added to the Symbiosis family. This species from PG2011 has got the unique habit of demanding movies that are yet to be released. She is currently flourishing in the IP of SIMC. After a lot of deliberations, the library is titled as "SD", though not after the rugged two wheeler.

THE BEST QUOTE AFTER "Jisko Maloom Hein USko Pata Hein"

""Develop your Eyesight into Vision"" - Sri Sri Suhas Maharaj !

Snake Charmers in News

After a flawlessly successful first and second semester, the task of fooling people with snakes came to an end for Aks Bridge Krish, the eternal snake charmer. He was caught on camera by a Papparazzi while DROPPING OFF a snake on the mountain top.

It was found that Aks Bridge never left the snake to the wild, but gave it a safe abode in a carefully constructed hole, which he visited once in a couple of days. The modus operandi was to carry it back to the GIRL's hostel or premises, when he found that the popularity chart came to a decline.

Any news of the snake used to prompt Aks to run with his latest acquaintance in a FLASH-y "DivX" player to a specific point in the entire girl's hostel, giving detectives the hint of a scam. If in case no one spots the snake, a rabbit would jump out of the window crying - "Snake, snake..", immediately making Aks Bridge run to the hostel.

This rabbit is also being questioned, said a Punjabi turned Mallu policeman MM, who was first to bring the scam to light.

Not only that, the charmer has got another harmer ...sorry... charmer with him in DivX of PR. DivX's roommate cites the courtship not for the love of the reptiles, but as yet another logic behind the well guarded flashy secret.

NOTE: All the girls are requested to note these points. ;)

• The stripes of the snake will be the same every time. Does the SIU's "tie-in-the-mess-too" uniform theory apply uniformly across all the creatures at Lavale; including the snakes ? - Jus pondering !@!

• The size of the snake caught will be the same. Is it that only snakes from nurseries and schools of the snake family stray to the hostels?

• Why is that the snakes are 95% of the time found only in the girls hostel or premises? Do the snakes have a liking to human females like the charmers ? ;) :P :P

The case is in the supreme court. Aks and DIVX please appear ! :P

TNG Hat-trick !

One of the outstanding achievements at SIMC happened this week. Don't ask who earned the accolades! It is so rumored that he will also be given the Young Achievers Award in Pune footprints 2009. This boy challenged the university to try making him write the exams and not vice versa. The university finally failed. Let’s read how.

A set of three students EARNED a TNG (Not a Bournville) by getting their third semester cancelled due to their exceptionally appreciable performances in the disciplinary side of their previous internships.

The student in picture comes to me: “Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

Rejil tries his best and after a week of discussions gets him off the TNG hook. Let free to breathe free, he takes his first deep breath and opens his eyes to find a paper on the notice board that reads

Students below a CGPA of 2.0 and hence is a TNG in the third semester is listed below.

The person EARNS it again. He comes running to me and says - “Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

Rejil tries his best and after another week of discussions gets him off the TNG hook. Left free to breathe free, he takes his first deep breath and finds a paper on the notice board that reads.

Final attendance list – Semester III

Due to swine flu and other related good times, few of the lucky ones are left off the noose with a 70% attendance. The elated souls dance with joy of not getting a TNG.

Our man looks at the list and looks at me. Even without uttering a word, I could read his mind, which was constantly chanting.

“Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

And I look at him and the notice board – “66.5%? Impossible”

“Me or the attendance?” – He quips

You EARNED it the third time in the third semester alone, making it a record of sorts’ man.

As symbi folklores would say, this is the story of a boy who slept on the most used railway tracks only to find the train going on a generally ignored track. But alas, finally one day, he switched on the ceiling fan only to find it rotting on his head leaving him unconscious on the ground.

All the best buddy! You can’t be saved of a TNG, but surely from the exam blues!

The Walking Questionnaire

A simple short story from SIMC

The great DB collects HTML assignments from PR

One great lady, THE WALKING QUESTIONNAIRE, calls him & ASKS as her habit is- "DB, Can I mail you the assignment ?"

DB -"Yes, you can"

The Walking Questionnaire - "DB, can you please tell me if you got it? If not, can I IP you the HTML assignment ?"

DB -"Better if you can IP me"

As amused as DB can get, he finds the HTML code copied and pasted in the IP window

(DB goes bonkers and advices her to IP a New folder)

Even before the blink of an eye, there comes on IP a folder titled - "NEW FOLDER", which to DB's surprise is empty.

DB becomes the sitting questionnaire and asks -"What is this for? What purpose does this empty folder solve?"

The Walking Questionnaire - It's you who told me to IP a NEW FOLDER. Now why are you asking me so?

DB accepts defeat and says - "Madam, please zip your files and IP it"

3-4 minutes pass and DB becomes anxious with a no response

Suddenly one IP window POP'S up with a zipped folder

A more than happy DB jumps in joy to have been successful in communicating the message properly. Before he lands on the ground, another zipped file comes and yet another and another. It stops at 5 zipped files and DB opens one after the other to find each picture of the HTML as a single zipped file.

DB stops asking anymore questions and unzips each of it, compiles all of it in the generously donated NEW FOLDER and submits to Dharam sir.

(20/20 DB for this effort and the walking questionnaire still continues her walk with truck loads of pregnant questions to give birth to)

Conserving energy ! ! !

X: What's new at SIMC

Y: SIMC ? What is that ?

X: Arrreyyy... Symbiosis Institute of Media and Communication.

Y: Seems you aren’t updated. It's rechristened boss !

X: Ohh! I never knew. But as what?

Y: Now it's known in the industry as SIEM.

X: SIEM?!

Y: The SYMBIOSIS INSTITUTE OF EVENTFUL(L) MANAGEMENT, keeping in mind the number of events conducted every week.

X: Every week?

Y: Yes, at least twice in a month, we see the local newspapers carry snippets of some event.

X: Like?

Y: Module meet, Council meet, Media meet, Sponsorship meet, Sports meet, Creative meet, Mess meet, Footprints meet, Assignment meet, .ppt meet and so on and so forth.

X: Do they get a good crowd?

Y: Why not? Even the guy called Rahul roams around with an attendance sheet.

X: The mess chap?

Y: Yes !

X: (Mouth agape) But why?

Y: Areeey... Even dinner after the event is compulsory. Else TNG, off campus, off placement, suspension!

X: How caring yaar! I envy you. I too should have been in SIMC. Btw what is this off campus rule like?

Y: It's a super rule, where the student is told to be off the residential campus for some indiscipline, while his parents are kept in the dark. No one from the committee even enquires whether the student has a local guardian, where he/she is from? How safe she will be off campus? No one even thinks about what the consequences are if she goes all alone to the city to stay? Is it in some hotel she is put up for the week mentioned? What security does she get outside the protective wings of the campus administrator? The rule remains as blank or as bald as the DISCO dancers head, while the parents are oblivious of the whereabouts of their ward ! They believe that their kid is safe in a residential campus like in other better residential campuses !

X:DISCO dancer?

Y:Areeeey.. the DISciplinary COmmittee head ! From next week onwards, I have heard that there will be attendance even at the coffee shop, stationery shop, canteen, saloon etc.

X: (Mouth and eyes wide open now) But why?

Y: Symbiosis follows the principle of Vasudhaiva Kudumbakam, an umbrella under which all currencies... errrr... students come together.

X: The global bank? (Mouth, nose, eyes wide open)

Y: Not exactly, something similar though with the currencies, but in translation it’s a Global village!

X: Oops ! But getting back to what we were discussing…attendance in the shops!?

Y: Listen, the word ‘Symbiosis’ itself means co-existence between diverse organisms in which each may benefit from the other. Exclude the students and their parents here and it is perfect.

X: So, the shopkeeper benefits from the student and the student from the shopkeeper. Am I getting a gist of the business model?

Y: Yes, yes. It's simply great. You are a fast learner. Hear this too! We get our "Masters" in Business Administration from the "Masters" of business administration.

X: Lucky souls! You pay to SNAP every tie you had in life and be on the hilltop cut off from culture and civilisation. By the way what was the event for the week?

Y: Today was "Environment Sustainability & Energy conservation". We had it in full bright light, artificially lit with just 74 bulbs in the auditorium itself.

X: Just 74??? ! ! ! It’s a good number for an auditorium you have.

Y: Yes, 32 in one chandelier of bulbs and 32 in another added to 10 side wall lights!

X: And they spoke of saving energy?

Y: As you too know, the world just blabbers in forums and not a single speaker voiced his concern on the energy being wasted right in front of him/her.

X: When irony and hypocrisy rules the world, who cares for a small seminar in some remote corner of the world ? Hope they learn that 'Charity begins at home'

(A security appears from nowhere)

Security to X: You are in Pink shirt. As per the college rules, only girls are allowed to use pink color. Give me your identity card. Strict actions will be taken against you.

X: Hello, am not a student of this campus.

Security to X: Then, you must wear only light and dark green combination dress, in sync with the pollution free campus rule.

PHEWWWWW....

Y interferes: Please bhaiyya, pardon just for now. We are leaving the campus premises now.

Y to X: Btw we also are having a new rule coming up regarding the uniforms! You must not wear briefs when you are in the academic premises.

X: But ! But ! Y !

Y: Someone told the university rules committee that SIMC faculty gives briefs in every class. To avoid such properties from being taken home, the security is strictly told to check everyone before he leaves the campus and before entering the premises, along with the ID card. To avoid any confusions between his own brief and the colleges brief, students are strictly told not to wear briefs!!!

X: My gwaaaaaaaad ! ! ! (& the guest slips into a BRIEF coma.)

Wishing all the best to Symbiosis. Khuda Haafiz!

MathU DEVI in a DISCO

Once later the mythological stories in the school syllabus of our great grand-children's children will read as follows

The Finding of MathU Devi in a casket

Colonel Maharaj was ploughing a piece of land for conducting a sport. He ploughed and ploughed for months and then one day, he found water. That’s how they say that the swimming pool at Lavale was formed. Undaunted with the failure he ploughed again. The pickaxe hit a pot, a real jack-pot. Wrapped in golden threads he found a specimen in MathU Devi snuggling inside a golden casket called SIBM. With the arrival of the baby, Maharaja's good luck appeared to soar up. The MathU girl wore a moustache and never left her casket, but tried bullying the neighbouring kid called SIMC. As days passed, MathU Devi was embellished with the crown of irony, as the disciplinary committee head who had to be taught discipline. Later, rechristened famously in the annals of history as DISCO, taking the DIS in disciplinary and CO from committee, he survived. And then unexpectedly one day, in the dark of night, a powerful slap landed on his drunken face. Unable to gulp the juices of humiliation & ignominy, the earth split wide open and MathU girl was forced to go back to the core of mother earth.

P.S: By the way, King Colonel is still ploughing something in front of my window in the name of a new sports ground. Hope he finds a better disciplinary committee head with something inside his head unlike the barren top outside. Pity the fact that even a strand of hair hates to stay on top.

Health is Wealth

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An Omarfull flu-mail

Omar full celebrates

As swine flu spread pandemonium across the world, one Omar Flu's e-mail spread across SIMC, competing a sister concern in the swine. It read as follows:

PARTY AGAIN

Hello guys,

After the success of our three hundred & thirty third ice breaker party, where we broke ice with the Campus Admin's teeth, we are planning to organize another party. Different venue, different music & different theme. Can you guess ? Yes, we are celebrating the entry of Swine flu in India, specifically to celebrate its unmatched success in infecting Pune within days. "Pearls before Swines" DJ & his pig music will sniff you.

The date and the venue are not decided yet. We are waiting for your response. Our best choices are Naidu hospital or Aundh chest hospital, location - Very near to the Quarantine ward.

And this time we want ALL of you to be there. This is our chance to show our strength. Catch the flu, donate it to the rest. Symbiosis ambulance is arranged for the return trip. Fuel charges would be waived if you can get enough media coverage.

We sincerely want to welcome those few..err..flu friends of ours who are suspended in thin air / mid air and who will never come back if quarantined again.

Cheers!!!!

Omar Full .. err Flu…

Please Note: SIU believes that Lavale is automatically quarantined against Swine flu virus because they have security men at every lamp post requesting autographs.

What if Swine flu boards the college bus from SB Road?

Don't worry, says SCHC.

The VC speaks - "We don't have double standards. Even if its swine flu, entry into the college bus is permitted only displaying his/her identity card."

Err...ok.. Sir, but Swine flu is a ....

"Don't try to influence me. However important he/she is, I won't budge."

Very proud of you sir, and also by the security measures taken by group4 securitas to counter swine flu's from entering the campus. What a foresight ? ! ! ! Am depressed... err... Impressed.

(Tring tring...)

Hello

Sir, am I speaking to the campus Administrator?

"NO, Currently the Campus Admin is not in his room. As per instruction received from SIU, he has gone searching for a photo of Mr. Swine flu. This helps in easy identification by the security men/women if in case Mr. Swine flu trespasses."

"Ohh.. What a sacrifice. Hats off to uncle. Kudos from the depth of my heart. All the best in his hunt. Good that Symbiosis identified that swine flu is a male."

(Tears flow through one eye...)

The curtain falls.

Midhun and the flu

TIMES NOW flashes a lot of news like "Symbiosis colleges closed in Pune. Swine flu threat intensifies"

Midhun is immune to Swine flu's since he had been with one in the earlier semesters.

Anyways Midhun gets a call from his dad who asks out of the blue, obviously tense -" Moneeeee, are you sick? "

Midhun's eyes pop out. How did dad get to know my well guarded secret ! He wonders.

Still, without hesitation, & courageously he asks - "Dad, where from did you get the information?"

The channels are flashing it across from the past half an hour.

Midhun goes in a trance- Ada paavi ! ! ! Who leaked the news? Rejil ? Kedar ? Db?

Ohh.. he thinks wild.. a 100 faces go in the whirl created by his mind.

And dad quips again - 'moneeee, Why are you quiet ? Are you really sick?"

Midhun with all his humility replies - " No papa, Am still the same old Nair I was. I will convert only if you permit"

Dad wonders like he did in the first semester - "Does this Swine flu affect the brain too? ? ! I don't remember reading it anywhere ! !"

If you are sick please come home.

No dad, am still not a Sikh. I love Kerala, the fish fry, the omplates, the porottas, the kappa meen and also the puttu kadala that amma prepares. I heard that we don't get all these in Punjab.

Dad is heard lamenting with mom's whimper at the background - 'Ayyo, our son is gone with the wind again"

Students please note: Anyone who can contribute PJ's can drop it at MM Publications, Box No: 143, Kottayam, Kerala.

No offence intended to Preetjot aka PJ or to MM aka Midhun Murali ;)

MooMoo & Snake bite...

Midhun calls his Mom: Amma, I am lucky to have chosen PR@SIMC.

Mom: Why? Are you placed?

MM: No mom, snakes bite only AD & JOURNO students of SIMC.

Mom: What! ?

MM: Yes, we weren’t invited for a lecture on snake bite here on campus. Only AD & JOURNO students were allowed to attend the seminar. high risk people ! We knw that not even snakes can touch PR students of SIMC. Hurrayyyy ! ! !

Mom: (All confused with SIMC, as she is with Midhun) Okok.

MM: Also, I am given the cuteness award for replicating ZooZoo.

Mom: How?

MM: I am MooMoo, the MM, the Midhun Murali, who walks & talks similar to the Mallu ZooZoo in the international roaming ad of Vodafone. People just love my cuteness!

Mom understands half of the gibberish mixed with another half of MM’s misunderstanding & asks: Ok, What about Regil?

MM: He attended the lecture on snakes & bites, but was worried a lot.

Mom: Why, what happened?

MM: The doctor told them that if a snake bites, eyelids droop even if we try our level best to keep it open.

Mom: But, why was he worried?

MM: He always has these symptoms in most of the advertising classes he attends. Now, whenever he is unable to hold his eyelids, he looks around for the snake !

Mom: Poor boy.

MM: What to do! Life at times in SIMC is very cruel. It’s worse than the snake bite. Third semester students have a jam-packed timetable, thus helping them see the industry more from the top. Though we live a Dog’s life, we are the actual GOD here.

Mom: How?

MM: We don’t condescend. Neither do we go downhill to know what happens with civilization, nor do we entertain others uphill. We autograph every ledger as it will surely have a security guarding it. YOU CAN SEE, it’s a ploy by the university to sell our autographs when we become famous, thus adding some more to their coffer. Money is all what matters!

Mom: Oh…

& the phone disconnects…

A century of coconaughty.

Flashophobia among students

A certain group of mass media students on hilltops were found to suffer from a deadly disease presently titled FLASHOPHOBIA. A flash of light or lightning from any corner makes the affected to shiver and utter gibberish like Shree, suspension, Dhaba, kiss, miss et al. It seems like SIMC is bound to suffer from ANKUR’s every year. The only common thing with the sufferings is that though the earlier bunch suffered from 'AS'inophobia, both are caused by ANKUR’s who were GONE WITH THE WIND’s.

Two new types of mass media acknowledged

Mass media are media, which can be used to communicate and interact with a large number of audiences in one time. With the advent of SIMC, two new types of mass media have been added in the gamut.

Now the list reads as follows

• Print media
• Electronic media
• Digital media
• OOH media
• Prateek media
• Padma media

Prateek and Padma media are fast eating up the digital and OOH pie, while print and electronic have already taken measures to stop the already eroding base. Reports from SIMC also speculate a convergence of Prateek and Padma media to a new type of media called Interactive-PR media. This threatens the already existing Interactive media to go kaput. Padma media also received an award for the best Word of Mouth campaign last year, while Prateek media is a real MASS media, looking at it figuratively.

Question mark reaches a full stop

With the beginning of the third semester, some unnecessary evil looking like a barrel has reached a full stop. The good thing about this transition is the cloud of optimism that surrounded the rest of the crowd. They presume that this special species will slip to a COMMA in the next semester.

Book & Banner ji – Why Market Research won't happen

• A notebook must contain 192 pages, all sized 20 cms X 15 cms. Else market research won’t happen.
• If PR students don’t get an assignment spanning 192 divided by 4 multiplied by 0.5 pages, market research won’t happen.
• If last benchers exist, market research won’t happen.
• If front rows aren’t filled first, market research won’t happen.

A conversation in the Film appreciation class.

Mad’am: Midhun, have you seen the BLUE UMBRELLA?

Midhun (wakes up): Yes madam, I saw it a few hours back.

Madam: Great coincidence. What did you like the most in it?

Midhun: The colour blue, the nylon cloth, the steel bars and of course the press button!

Madam: (Zonked) where did you see this?

Midhun: It was lying in the corner of the class.

Mad’am: Please watch more movies or at least read about it ! ! !

Homework?

Till a year back, Ramu an avid movie buff used to ask

"Mom, can I go for a movie?"

Mom: "NOoooooo. SIT & STUDY THE TEXTBOOK CHAPTERS. Kal exam hein na?"

Now Ramu is an AV student at SIMC. All he hears from morning till night is about film making, the metaphors, the script and so on...

The boy goes home after a few days totally exhausted. Desperate to read something he asks.

"Mom, I want to read something"

Mom: "NOooooooooo. GO AND WATCH MOVIES. kal exam hein na?" :P

The ironies in our life ;) & yes, we portray the same through movies as a classic medium. Long live cinema.

A Journo choice

SOME SIMC STORIES

Rejil to a 'would be' journalist: I wrote a post on i-pill in my blog.

The girl: Unfortunately, I am not too interested in cricket.

(Rejil looks like the Doordarshan blackout of the 90's) & ponders:

i-pill cricket khelne ke baad lete hein kya? Ohh... Might be true...Donon bat aur ball ka game hee hein.... :P

THE DOOSRA GOOGLY

R (Rep / Rejil): Where do you want to intern this time?

S (Student): News-X

R: New sex?

S: Yes, News-X

R: I was asking about the organisation, not the work you would undertake :P

S: Yes, its the organisation.

R: But, where will you have new sex?

S: Anywhere would do.

R: Ohh. Great professionalism.

S: Yes, but I like News-X mostly in their news room.

R: Ohh, so you have decided the place too ! Amazing.

S: Yes, News-X as I have heard gives an amazing feeling.

R: Ohh is it, I have no idea. Am still a virgin

S: What?! .....& what ensues is..... @#$%^&*()@#$$%#@#$Y^Y

R: Now I know. It's NEWS-X isn't?

An ancient journalism school

SIMC IN LINE WITH ANCIENT INDIA

In ancient India, the teacher would instruct handful of students to be seated on ground. The instructor sat under a tree and for many hours daily the students would repeat verses after verses till they attain mastery of at least one of them.

So, does SIMC. Journalism is taught only to people who can remain seated on the ground for long hours. A few of them, who thought themselves to be a little modern in the Gurukul demanded for chairs and tables. Any guesses for the reply ?

It goes - "Unless you are seated on the ground from 10 am and repeat your lessons till 6 pm, you won't be master of your trade". The story doesn't end here....

It is so rumoured that since 45 chairs & tables are difficult to arrange, the new search is for a Banyan or a Peepal tree. Any one of this tree would help the faculty sit from where he can share his gyan.

N.B: A humble request - Please inform Padma / Bongo if you can find any peepal trees in the vicinity. Its for a social cause, an educational initiative. ;)

After my short discussion..err... argument, the Journo's earned a seat within an hour. All what I can say is - Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

MENU - CANTEEN 2010

It is so rumoured that Lavale after March 2010 will have a new hotel or say a canteen in memory of the council 2010. It seems all true after the present changes in place.

The local menu as discussed locally was decided in alignment with the international university, and with permission by the institute of media and communication.

An approved sample got leaked and is in the press. Reads as follows. Typos are to be ignored in the same way as we ignore the drooping standards.

Grant Indian restore-end menu

Council man-U package - All served free in the platter

SOUPS

Cream of Rejil - (Drink till your thirst suffices)

Veg Arjya soup(Available only on Tuesdays and Fridays)

Non-veg Arjya soup(all other days)

Vegetarian & Non-Veg Dish-UME

Aditi methimalai (Full energy fat balls and don't consume if cold)

Priyam and peace masala (Gets cold easily, so take it hot)

Padma-ni Kolhapuri with grapevine rassa – (A preparation of grated stories and some little truths added to taste) – Buffet style (eat till you drop dead)

Poonam cough-ta (You might have some initial hiccups which gets alright soon)

Ranjan Jalfrezi (Weaves a web of magic after consumption)

Prakash Chicon/cochin biryani (Eat one and you feel like inebriated)

Anbwesh rai-ta chowmeen (To be eaten leisurely)

Aakriti ka Tadka(crispy dish-You consume and it pops loud for long)

Indian Breads

Stuffed Deepali (Dedicated North Indian Dish tasting real south in flavour, look & feel)

Shruti paratha (South Indian crispy bread famous in Mumbai)

Nishant Uttapam (Coconut gratings in Gujarati bread)

Chintan shahi korma (A type of sweet bread from Gujarat)

Special meals

Archana Thali - With Sambar, Rasam, 2 Vegetables, Raita, Pappad, Pickle, Chutney, Kachumber, Rice & Chapatti (south and north, east and west mixed in a rare proportion – No one can eat just one)

Beverages

Ajay lassi – hot and spicy local drink

Dalia berserk-ed – International Indian flavor – bingo !

Light meals

Akashi pullao – A fish err dish-oom pulled from the sky

Evening snakes

Akshay & Rabbit mixture – (Two venomous teeth and two bugs bunny taken out before serving)

Gitanjali sandwich – (Check twice before eating. Spicy. PyaR se khao;))

Neha deadly err idly – (Small and cute white rice cake from Goa)

French cries along with brain dry fry – (Tastes Rejil soup like)

Others

Nisha pappad

Anisha dahiwaala(A Kolkata sweet dish topped with curious grapevine juice)

Extra G-ravi

YOUCANSEE Salad

(All served with Patnaik chutney & Krishnan kidney)

Sweet & Sour Memories

NGO Salad - A-sambhavana

Industry race'tha with I- scream (Available in flavours – Ad , PR, AV, Journo)

Placement fries

2010 - My future ;)

You had seen my past in some ad's, but definitely not the future. I am now gifted to see my future also.

My vision - Lavale PG I - 212 , Bangalore SIMC - 50, Lavale PG II - 223

Let my vision help you see me in March 2010, after placements, through this blog post !




Shock laga laga laga , shock laga.... But alas ! Mine is not due to short circuit, slowdown or as we say, recession, but due to the excess ! ;)

Yet, I love this a lot :) :) :)

Algae Species Traced Using the Internet

New species identified

Symbly-Science Daily (June 12, 2009) — University of Symbliosis communication scientist Arkrishnan has identified a new species of algae in Northern Campus.

This discovery comes after the discovery of some mutant varieties of moths by senior scientists at SIMC, named Gossip moths. While Gossip moths were found to reach every nook and corner and poke their nose into the unnecessary with their specially designed inquisitive antennas, this new species of algae can stick to even the most slippery places and quench their thirst for passing information.

Discovered at SIMC, they have already spread to various parts of India. The main characteristic of such species is the uncanny ability to climb up the top slots of the buildings by creeping, crawling, licking or camouflage. This species is titled e-mail algae, because they can even transfer information clandestinely in the electronic medium. Commonly termed as BCC, the Blank Carbon Copy is a boon only till the receiver replies to same fraternity, but with different abilities.

Another species on the verge of discovery is the YN species or the Yellow Newspaper species, which have the ability to twist the meaning of the simplest sentences in the scientist’s mail to suit their requirements and also make the receiver believe it so. These are of the nocturnal species, active at night and in the dark of matters, quiet but potentially toxic on getting close.

"This large moth flew in and we didn't think much of it because there are similar species, but one sting and we knew how lethal it can be” – says co-scientists of the Koun-sell group.

"We can now add it to the leech group, but will it be an insult to the already injured leeches ?" Arkrishnan ponders.

New insights

The project, which is presented in a thesis, offers completely new insights into the ecology and distribution of the communication algae genus. Even research inclined PR & AD students can take this case study and present it for PRimary & ADvanced research studies. The thesis also reveals a previously unknown kinship between e-mail algae and the Gossip moths.

Furthermore, the research demonstrated that many groups within the genus are not related at all as previously believed, but are only parasitic. The species in SIM-see live in the symbiosis family primarily with grapevines only for survival and sustenance, though without any strengths of their own.

The study identified for the first time a family of poisons, unknown to exist in these brightly colored creatures family or elsewhere in nature.

History

What is remarkable is that the molecular character genealogy of the SIM-see species shows their origin only a year ago, but with the same trajectory as in the distant past! Lineages shows the proof of the evolutionary stages. Then as of now, these steps are also seen as evolved defenses against small project predators and assignment parasites on the Law-less LAW-ale colony surface. When the hosts grow extinct, these parasites find new hosts to stick, lick and feed on forever.

Future

Scientists predict a bleak future to such parasites and poison ivy’s, as they will just die young due to lack of talent and absolute incompetency, even though a parasite.

Actual story: Dedicated to those students who have turned hostile for reasons ranging from trying to be important in the eyes of the administration to the disorder of being obsessive (OCD), & try their hands at gossip, lies, twisting facts and what not ! Might be simply because they find themselves unimportant otherwise, helpless, corruptive to be famous or simply a habit, an inborn attitude uncared for by the family. Weeds grow fast, but die faster...

CV Samples

Taken from SIMC ? Can't be…. I mean , no... An emphatic NO..

Aim : To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis so as to lay a strong foundation in a carrier on the information supper highway (Hungry for long!) - Any guesses?

Education: Completed 12 years of high school (Hats off for your patience)

Strength/s: I always can give my 100%. (Finished tenth in a class of 10!)

Skills: Killing time via innovative methods. - ( Can't be an SIMC-ian )

Hobbies: Copy - paste

Achievements: Buttock awards for devising novel ways of killing time. Recognised by Limca Book of Records for being the fastest copy paster in India. ;)

Special Skills: Has the ability to be bi-lingual in three languages. ( SIMC ;-) )

BTW, an out of syllabus question

Favorite juice: Grape-vine juice – Yes, Yes, this is an SIMC-ian… Guess who?