Thursday, August 13, 2009

Health is Wealth

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Monday, August 10, 2009

An Omarfull flu-mail

Omar full celebrates

As swine flu spread pandemonium across the world, one Omar Flu's e-mail spread across SIMC, competing a sister concern in the swine. It read as follows:

PARTY AGAIN

Hello guys,

After the success of our three hundred & thirty third ice breaker party, where we broke ice with the Campus Admin's teeth, we are planning to organize another party. Different venue, different music & different theme. Can you guess ? Yes, we are celebrating the entry of Swine flu in India, specifically to celebrate its unmatched success in infecting Pune within days. "Pearls before Swines" DJ & his pig music will sniff you.

The date and the venue are not decided yet. We are waiting for your response. Our best choices are Naidu hospital or Aundh chest hospital, location - Very near to the Quarantine ward.

And this time we want ALL of you to be there. This is our chance to show our strength. Catch the flu, donate it to the rest. Symbiosis ambulance is arranged for the return trip. Fuel charges would be waived if you can get enough media coverage.

We sincerely want to welcome those few..err..flu friends of ours who are suspended in thin air / mid air and who will never come back if quarantined again.

Cheers!!!!

Omar Full .. err Flu…


Please Note: SIU believes that Lavale is automatically quarantined against Swine flu virus because they have security men at every lamp post requesting autographs.

What if Swine flu boards the college bus from SB Road?

Don't worry, says SCHC.

The VC speaks - "We don't have double standards. Even if its swine flu, entry into the college bus is permitted only displaying his/her identity card."

Err...ok.. Sir, but Swine flu is a ....

"Don't try to influence me. However important he/she is, I won't budge."

Very proud of you sir, and also by the security measures taken by group4 securitas to counter swine flu's from entering the campus. What a foresight ? ! ! ! Am depressed... err... Impressed.

(Tring tring...)

Hello

Sir, am I speaking to the campus Administrator?

"NO, Currently the Campus Admin is not in his room. As per instruction received from SIU, he has gone searching for a photo of Mr. Swine flu. This helps in easy identification by the security men/women if in case Mr. Swine flu trespasses."

"Ohh.. What a sacrifice. Hats off to uncle. Kudos from the depth of my heart. All the best in his hunt. Good that Symbiosis identified that swine flu is a male."

(Tears flow through one eye...)

The curtain falls.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Midhun and the flu

TIMES NOW flashes a lot of news like "Symbiosis colleges closed in Pune. Swine flu threat intensifies"

Midhun is immune to Swine flu's since he had been with one in the earlier semesters.

Anyways Midhun gets a call from his dad who asks out of the blue, obviously tense -" Moneeeee, are you sick? "

Midhun's eyes pop out. How did dad get to know my well guarded secret ! He wonders.

Still, without hesitation, & courageously he asks - "Dad, where from did you get the information?"

The channels are flashing it across from the past half an hour.

Midhun goes in a trance- Ada paavi ! ! ! Who leaked the news? Rejil ? Kedar ? Db?

Ohh.. he thinks wild.. a 100 faces go in the whirl created by his mind.

And dad quips again - 'moneeee, Why are you quiet ? Are you really sick?"

Midhun with all his humility replies - " No papa, Am still the same old Nair I was. I will convert only if you permit"

Dad wonders like he did in the first semester - "Does this Swine flu affect the brain too? ? ! I don't remember reading it anywhere ! !"

If you are sick please come home.

No dad, am still not a Sikh. I love Kerala, the fish fry, the omplates, the porottas, the kappa meen and also the puttu kadala that amma prepares. I heard that we don't get all these in Punjab.

Dad is heard lamenting with mom's whimper at the background - 'Ayyo, our son is gone with the wind again"

Students please note: Anyone who can contribute PJ's can drop it at MM Publications, Box No: 143, Kottayam, Kerala.

No offence intended to Preetjot aka PJ or to MM aka Midhun Murali ;)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

MooMoo & Snake bite...

Midhun calls his Mom: Amma, I am lucky to have chosen PR@SIMC.

Mom: Why? Are you placed?

MM: No mom, snakes bite only AD & JOURNO students of SIMC.

Mom: What! ?

MM: Yes, we weren’t invited for a lecture on snake bite here on campus. Only AD & JOURNO students were allowed to attend the seminar. high risk people ! We knw that not even snakes can touch PR students of SIMC. Hurrayyyy ! ! !

Mom: (All confused with SIMC, as she is with Midhun) Okok.

MM: Also, I am given the cuteness award for replicating ZooZoo.

Mom: How?

MM: I am MooMoo, the MM, the Midhun Murali, who walks & talks similar to the Mallu ZooZoo in the international roaming ad of Vodafone. People just love my cuteness!

Mom understands half of the gibberish mixed with another half of MM’s misunderstanding & asks: Ok, What about Regil?

MM: He attended the lecture on snakes & bites, but was worried a lot.

Mom: Why, what happened?

MM: The doctor told them that if a snake bites, eyelids droop even if we try our level best to keep it open.

Mom: But, why was he worried?

MM: He always has these symptoms in most of the advertising classes he attends. Now, whenever he is unable to hold his eyelids, he looks around for the snake !

Mom: Poor boy.

MM: What to do! Life at times in SIMC is very cruel. It’s worse than the snake bite. Third semester students have a jam-packed timetable, thus helping them see the industry more from the top. Though we live a Dog’s life, we are the actual GOD here.

Mom: How?

MM: We don’t condescend. Neither do we go downhill to know what happens with civilization, nor do we entertain others uphill. We autograph every ledger as it will surely have a security guarding it. YOU CAN SEE, it’s a ploy by the university to sell our autographs when we become famous, thus adding some more to their coffer. Money is all what matters!

Mom: Oh…

& the phone disconnects…