Headlines

Lavale News Network

‘S’ makes life miserable for many ‘photoshop’pers

S, a letter found in the Times of the New Romans was almost a NO to most of the holiday shoppers in the Hill station of Lavale. SriDharam, the center manager pointed this to be a lack of interest than talent. “Till all the inhabitants twist like an S, leisure will be a strict No, No” he added.

Bunkers found in SIMC hostels.

Unlike the bunkers found in a warfront, these are human BUNKers who have proxies planted in specific target locations in the class. This naked truth came to light with a surprise combing operation carried out by the smiling assassin (SA [read from right]).

Two more clubs introduced.

Fossils in SIMC converged to create two more clubs to give them company after 8 pm.

The futile club association inaugurated ‘Albatross Club’, in fond memory of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who predicted ‘Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink” long before the crisis hit SIMC. Those who haven’t taken bath in a week, but still don’t stink are eligible to join the club.

The second one was titled ‘Grapevine club’ pertaining to the increase in gossip mongers in an around the campus as claimed by ‘Appidi Pode-pode’, a faulty-in-search, sorry…faculty-in-charge. The members of this club are thought to become an asset in the social spheres as well as in parties for their uncanny ability to weave stories from nowhere.

The names of the clubs were revealed by Mr. An-eta (The head and tail of PR).

Trucks banned in ‘Photoshop’ campus.

A high produce of shapeless and deformed trucks coupled with the unavailability of parking space has forced the authorities to bar further entry of trucks in the photoshop campus. SriDharam, the center manager, also accepted defeat, since most of the trucks by aunties and uncles looked either like a tractor or a bull-dozer. Agitated students voted this as a rare victory before a possible student uprising.

Multiplex ‘S01’ renamed ‘Mind room 01’.

In a new development, SO1, the ‘sleeping partners’ of the student business, was rechristened as Mind Room 01. Students guess this as a move towards confining the wandering minds. Critics are of the strong opinion that this place can even lead to losing one’s mind. In some of the Oh-pode classes the room can be used for ‘Never mind’ or ‘Mind it!!!’ too.

Highway patrol intensifies after threat

“It’s my way or the Hi-way” – The quote by a Vivekananda disciple sent shock waves across the country. Students in different states of mind were found lamenting on phones late till night. The highway police of Lavale took this as a serious threat and intensified patrolling on all the highways.

“We are keeping a vigil on all highways, since we weren’t informed whether we would be on the local highway, national highway or the express highway” – said a SIMCard on conditions of anonymity.

Flash News

Students turn milkmen

The introduction of special brakeless, but punctured cycles took the wind out of the lungs of students. The gasping for breath could be heard miles away.

Most of the MBA students looked an exact replica of Lalu Prasad Yadav, a milkman by profession, a robber by choice and a manager by chance.

This is Rejil Krishnan reporting from the real life cliffhanger for SimblyTV, Lavale.