IN NEWS AGAIN AND AGAIN

NEW FACULTY INTRODUCED

Faculties with doctorate in coffee processing, Masters in paani-puri technology, Bachelors in Dahi puri & Bhel-puri tech were recruited, as promised by UKC Sir during the orientation program of Batch 2010. In sync with the ongoing young entrepreneurial drive, students are to learn coffee processing and how to hold water in a gol-gappa. A self study coffee test is on the cards.

TEXTURES ARRESTED ON PAPER

In the latest development in the field of art and culture, Da-natu has devised a special technique to transfer texture into paper by mere rubbing of pastels/crayons. This is an intelligent way to convert lifeless lives to something abstract – said the director.

CONTRABAND SEIZED

A sizable volume of contraband variants in LAYS, VADAPAV and COOKIES were confiscated red-handed from the multiplex. The investigative team headed by ASID raided the room, while the screening of ‘Chori Chori Chupke Chupke’ was nearing the climax.

LONGEST TIME FOR THE SHORTEST DISTANCE

Research proved that distance to time ratio from the canteen to the hostel as the largest ever. Though rare in Homo sapiens, this is an amazing phenomenon found only in the SIMCIANS, a new breed of blabber’s.

RECREATION CENTRE MAY TURN PRO-CREATION CENTRE

Without any lights and with some dark pockets, the recreation centre is transforming itself to be one of the highly sought after and happening destinations for the singles of the college. Chances of a single turning double ease the making of a TRIO in such situations – reported Traitors from Lavale.

SIMC CATCHES EXAM FEVER

Batch 2010 is reeling under an unnamed fever. “Unlike the bird flu, this isn’t contagious. So there is no need to panic and slaughter the batch at the moment” – said Dr. Combiflam. The exam fever can easily be kept at bay with a dose of my expired stock of combiflam, he added.

THE ULTIMATE PANACEA UNVEILED

Dr. Combiflam, affectionately known in the ladies hostel as ‘uncomb-uncle’, unveiled his treasure of expired medicines. The specialty with the medicines is it’s a cure-all remedy from any ailment. Even AIDS, CANCER and the next Gen unknown diseases can be eradicated, he opined at the press conference conducted by the PYAR batch 2010.

All these medicines are banned because of ‘medical jealousy’, a term recently coined to combat medical ethics.

SNIPPETS:

• The war for the number of colors in the color wheel reached a climax with Natuism locking horns with AVism. Its thought that once settled this will change the whole perception of those colorblind viewers.

• The results of the Class- Test matches, though played like a one-day were announced. Flunk-ers outnumbered the winners, thereby proving the increasing productivity at SIMC.

End result for Symbiosis: The Ultimate gyan for policy makers

Increase in intake of students directly proportional to the drooping standards and quality.

THIS LAW DOESN'T REQUIRE NEWTON TO FORMULATE NOR THE ISRO SCIENTISTS TO EXPERIMENT AND PROVE. ANY LAYMAN KNOWS THAT INTAKE MINUS INFRASTRUCTURE AND FACULTY IS DOOM TO COME. PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES MY DEAR SYMBLIFY/COMBLIFY GUYS AND HELP US OUT. MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING, QUALITY IS SOMETHING.