Monday, October 6, 2008

Euthanasia

Phoolan Devi left the screen seven years ago. Popularly known as "The Bandit Queen", she was an Indian dacoit, who later turned politician.

The reincarnation is here in our own SIMC. Popularly known as ‘The Journo Queeno’, she is turning out to be a cold blooded imbecile.

But, Beware, Caution!!! Though minus the guns, she is armed with truck loads of ammunition. Caustic remarks to acerbic terms, & she can fire any minnow to death with the improbable dates she quotes. One of her speeches delivered during a political campaign is replicated below.

Draped in some mismatch, she arrives.
(Dressing Etiquette: ZERO marks)

Late by an hour, she already has 120 people waiting.

JQ: Bengal is flooded and so I am a little late”
(Value for time: ZERO marks)

The speech begins

“When India gained independence on the 12th September 1956, we were on the verge of …

(Interruption by her secretary): Madam, August 15, 1947.

JQ: ohhhhh… is it??? So, you think I didn’t know??? What I say is right and it's the only point of view. Understood? Else go, complain to ASID…
(Manners / Courtesy, while Interacting : ZERO marks)

(Secretary apologizes and moves back)

JQ continues: where did I stop? Yeah… till Tsunami struck India in 2007 September (Memory, Knowledge: ZERO marks), we all were under the impression that we have freedom of the press. But NO! Tsunami couldn’t change the history of Indus Valley civilization which flourished in Bengal, a century back in 1937, along with the Bangla newspaper SINDBAD KAUMUDI.

(Sanju, an aspiring SIMCian journalist is present to cover the event)

S: (Disgusted she murmurs): What an incoherent delivery!!!

The silence of the mike is soothing, but another sound effect is edited and added.

Munch. Munch. Crunch. Munch. Crunch...and it continues...

Sanju tunes in and picks the sound effects properly, Thanks to AV class.

Looks up to see ‘Journo Queeno’ chew some sandwiches.

(JQ continues…)

JQ: Sorry people did not have Breakfast, Lunch nor Brunch and so …..
(Professional Demeanor: ZERO marks)

Sanju, as usual, questions: How is it that Tsunami stuck in 2007? If I remember right, it stuck India and Indonesia in 2004.

(Ambers fly, JQ turns red hot)

JQ in the HOW DARE YOU pose explains: “Can't you be louder? Or are you treasuring your womanhood?” (Respecting the subject : ZERO Marks)

No other choice… Sanju repeats the question.

JQ: “It stuck the rest of India and Indonesia in 2004, but in Bengal we allowed it’s entry only in 2007, be it weather or Nano, it runs as per our wish in Bengal.”

Sanju out of fear, keeps her agape mouth shut.

JQ doesn’t stop and continues her tirade, but now against the journalist who questioned her. (Showering Humiliation, Insult, Ignominy, Sarcasm, Rudeness: 10/10 Marks)

JQ: “You so called journalists, do you know about the history of the press or the gagging act???

Sanju: “Only a part of it, can you please explain?”

JQ: “Those days in Bengal, the police came to arrest me, they beat me, and they gagged me… (Pondering, & in reflection...). There Gandhiji (2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948) and Raja Ram Mohan Roy (August 14, 1774 – September 27, 1833) came together to meet me, thus bringing 'Gagging act' into place. ..and sob sob… (Crocodile tears fell on the podium)

(JOURNO QUEEN is ushered inside)

Sanju was last seen in a pose to escape this torrent of ignorance. No information after that. If JQ goes this way, the journalist may either quit or go on strike.

Finally it was breaking news for the media.

Today morning, Lavale stood witness to the brutal murder of Journalism and its history. The witnesses are dumfounded and in a state of shock. The administration refuses to comment or take blame. However, the murderer roams free. Residents in the Journalism colony are warned against this brutal specie, which is on rampage due to lack of clarity and abundance of arrogance. Wildlife experts claim this to be an extreme case, where madness sets in due to an inclination towards a particular place.

11 comments:

Blogged in said...

hahahaahahaha!!
you rock!! thank you so much!! I hope the right people read it!!!
Couldnt have painted a better picture of her!!

N a a nn i said...

Man! killer!!!.....u go it spot on.
I was there whn the massacre took place....n im still in a state o trauma!

DJ said...

M so happy that I opted for PR.
talk about competing for the first place on the mints list of colleges, if this continues we wont have to worry about competition, we will be awarded the place 1st fom the last.

Anonymous said...

BRAVO!!!!!:D:D

That was quite a 'STING' operation of Journo queen!

Midhun Murali said...

Bravo is the right word!

We have a lot many examples here in SIMC to prove how student-faculty relationship should go ahead.

We are leaving you Journo people. I would like to say two things before the departure;

1) We will miss you all :)

2) You must find some or other shield to protect yourself from the fast approaching meteor.

PS: Some of us missed our CA ppt while a lot others could make it, who cares??

Anonymous said...

hahhaa.... sooo funny.... yea mann!!! totally.... seski post rejil.... how can u forget.... rekha is sivaji ganesan's daughter.... she's rite.... the rest of us r wrong.... gemini ganesan wld've woken up frm his grave rite now!!!!
wish her name was there in the feedback form thingy.... mann!!!! tht wld've been a treat!!!!

Anonymous said...

..and it looks like the war against weapons of mass destruction continues.
may i say that we had a gem of a journo prof?
(sadistic i know..haha)

Astha said...

rejil dude...if i had one wish in this world...that would be to bring about the destruction of the meteor/reincarnation of foolan devi/and many other names best spoken in private...u rock...our sentiments could not have been more aptly expressed....8)

Deepali said...

Most comprehensive! If I had to survey a whole bunch of to-be-journos and know about her, I would still have missed out something. But you are you. Attacked the target with full force! ;-)Kudos to your observation, and your eye for little details of 'massive' objects!:D

P. said...

There goes all the respect everyone had for Bengal =p
No , it does not flood by 'torrential' rains at this time of the year ... but sigh =p
Briiliant piece , Rejil ..

Anonymous said...

Good post.