An unfair love..

The photograph fell from the side pocket of his old bag. His fingers ran through her tress. He tried pinching her bubbly cheeks. Flashes of memory filled the evening. To give him the pleasure of leisure, a waft of air played hide and seek. Sometimes it kissed, sometimes not. The erratic composition entertained him. He waited with closed eyes , ready to welcome the next gust of wind. She came with a companion and sprinkled the droplets on his face like magic. Rain was waiting on the edge to pour. He smelt dampness as a next door neighbor. So close, so hearty. It rained. The sheet of water made the immediate frame in front hazy. He reclined. Memories flooded his evening.

“Rahul, the wind is strong. There is lightening in the air. Switch off your computer and come downstairs…” – Mom called aloud from the stairs. Her voice came clear amidst the pitter patter on his roof. The rain was dancing with joy. He drenched everyone on his way. The coconut leaves swayed in unison. Midrib’s channelized the water to an unknown track. The mangifera’s lamented the loss of its flowers. Summer heaved a sigh of relief. The stage was set for a different set of actors. Their part acted with the highest intensity, summer left the arena. The ants scampered for cover. Enough and more saved for a rainy day, the family was happier than ever.

“Rahullll.. where are you? The tea is getting colder.” - mom’s tone lend a different frequency. Ddi it have a harshness attached. He wondered.

“ Just a minute more mom”. He had just met her online. The website had pictures of a thousand people. Unknown men. Women. Girls. Boys. Impersonators. sex-starved. Virgin’s dreaming of first sex. Men in need of women. Girl’s reaqdy to speak their heart out. And an infinite number of more reasons remained.

His conscience whispered. Neither can she see you nor can she gauge your character. Behave. A few days, a few months, play and leave. It had been a habit. The mediums varied. He intentionally didn’t want to break the little crystal, but he wanted to. Her photograph had an aura familiar, yet different. Simple, yet complex. Common, yet charming. The gleam in her eyes transfixed his gaze.

“Rahul, have your tea” – Mom stood next to him, with snacks in one hand and tea in the other.

‘I would have come downstairs. Is dad angry at my absence? “

Mom left without a reply.

One photograph. One tale of unconditional love. And she too never answered his queries ever.

He liked the thrill of living as a someone he isn’t. He gave birth to another individual. He acted. He behaved. A gust of soothing cool breeze left the windows open. The rain sprayed itself to his face, alongside came another sprinkle onto the computer screen.

Rahul woke up and looked around from recline. The computer is no longer here. It’s called a laptop. My Dell.

He still was committed to the sprout of memory. Vividly pictured in them were the initial days where she never gave a nod.

Was she tan, fair or dark? He had asked himself. The only photograph of hers was researched.

She is not too fair for sure. He decided for himself. Unconvinced, the next ploy was to impress her online friends. His patience knew no impatience. One month and some common friends.

This picture is some indoor mobile camera phone. She is fair and more beautiful. One of them had quipped then.

Days grew taller to weeks. Weeks grew stronger to become months. His love grew disproportionately. Curiosity to know more from her was a challenge he liked. Little filaments of love made its inroads. They joked. They shared. They spoke. Time left its cushioned seats for him. They lived their life, full of jokes, laughs, petty differences, arguments, pet names. Frozen seconds needles stood a testimony to the holidaying moments.

The night fell. It rained. The wind murmured romance in the ears of the little leaves. The leaves swayed at the winds tickle. Birds chirped in unison. They too loved the warmth amidst the rains. The nests were cozy. The feathers cozier. A little worm struggled to hide from the invading raindrops. He went round and round the leaf. Wet and slippery he was about to fall. But he didn’t. The little bird found its prey. Food for one, death for another. Elation for one, lament for another. Life’s cycle continued amidst his sightlessness. Night held a veil of blindness, so did his love for her. Her fragrance addicted his nostrils. It nauseated his thoughts. His hands frantically searched for the parker pen he treasured for special moments. The dark blue ink wet his light blue sheet of paper thus.

“I know not the moment when I start liking you, but yes, I did and I do. I maybe early, I may be late; I may be irrelevant, yes... I may simply be the out of question sorts, but I thought I’ll let you know what I have in my hearts mind. I love you. I love you beyond what you think, ahead of your thoughts. I wouldn’t have disclosed it when it mattered most. I would have lost an opportunity. Still, I liked your chirpiness, your silence, your indifference, your joy, your individuality, your talent, your intelligence, and a lot more than you could ever think I noticed. Time sizzled past me and you. If I don’t let you know the moments I loved, I do injustice to the sprout of love I nurtured. I loved you when tears in your eyes were mine. I loved you when the laughter in mine reflected a slice of you. I loved you when you shared your moments of melancholy with me. I loved you when you poured the woe of madness at me. I always regretted the droopy eyed you, who reflected an unreasonable me. I slept with the hope to meet you the dawn that arose. Forgive me if you loved. Forget me if you didn’t…”

The wet nib slid back into its dwelling from birth. In the darkness of its silence, the nib wept. It had a lot more to write, a lot more to share. Hope she values the love in my masters’ words.

First clearance 9:45 AM. Morning posted the letter in a starving postbox. Conflicting ways of life. Snail mails to express a love met online.

He opened the inbox with a faint hope to find her online. Instead, a letter welcomed him. Mailed at precisely the same moment when rains took rest from a rigorous dance exercise. Power had gone yesterday and he couldn’t check his mails. He sweated the same way when rains deserted the night.

The mail read, “Dear, Am leaving India forever. We never met. We may never meet. Just in case I don’t return from this trip, I wish to just let you know that I loved you a lot. A love that trickled in slowly like the water that percolated near your computer after every rain. I knew not when, but it grew in stature. Every moment I prayed, for you to whisper it in my ears. You never did. I loved you when u listened to me. I loved you when u got angry over my carelessness. I loved you when u advised me against my wishes. I loved you every moment, every second. Not a day passed without you dwelling in my heart. Not a moment passed without your thoughts enveloping me. Yes, exactly like the cold breeze you always loved to blanket after the rains. I never wanted to let you know, because I thought it would hurt you. It is a new beginning, a new chapter in my life from yesterday. I got married…. “

He slid the photograph in his bag's side pocket. He was late. The realization was itself too late. The tear kissed his cheeks. He wiped it for a new beginning.