Sunday, May 17, 2009

A Marketing Proposal

Chapter 1.

How to apply marketing intelligence by Ramshas classes in your daily life !

Boy joins SIMC. First semester begins. A girl sits lazily in one corner. She poses intelligent questions in the marketing classes by Ramshas. The guy in the opposite corner falls head over heels. A small spark is generated. The spark becomes a fire within him for her. It showed in his mannerisms & presentation etc.

In another 60 days, he learns a lot about her and proposes her.

Girl looks down upon the generally unimpressive guy and says: “How did you ever expect that an intelligent girl like me, with so many bees buzzing around with interesting offers, would ever accept an unintelligent proposal from a guy like you? “

The guy ponders and ponders, striking the ‘Le penseur’ pose in most of the classes.

FINALLY HE WROTE TO HER

Dear Ms. iloveyou,

I am pleased to take this opportunity, so that you can better see how I would be the best to handle your unique needs.

I specialize in small and medium-sized singles to create an innovative future by coupling to from a pair.

I, failedinlove, had designed almost-fruitful marketing campaigns for nearly a decade. My client list includes girls from the higher echelons to the lowest. I have garnered many awards, including a pair of brand new high-heels, hard bound magazines, price-less stones and et cetera.

Please take a moment to read through my initial proposal for you as my campaign. This will give you an idea how the campaign will unfold through a series of steps.

Should you choose to sign a contract with me, we can immediately begin the creative side of the campaign, whereby we find locations that will help us bring smaller packages (kids) for future purposes. Please do not hesitate to call with any questions you might have. We look forward to speaking with you further.

With lots of business essence,

Failedinlove

Lights, sounds, thunder..err..slap...Dishooom, dishooom, dishooooooooooom… curtains down.

Time progressed and by the end of the second semester, the guy too became intelligent. The girl slowly began to have a liking towards him. So she proposed in a romantic style, forgetting that the guy is market intelligent today.

HE REPLIES

Listen, I had an affinity to you at the introductory stage, where the competition was huge. You ignored me as the demand was growing. While in the Growth Stage , I tried to build my brand preference and increase the market share in your heart. You slapped me as your market share was at the peak. With little or no competition, more retail guys were interested in you. You forgot me. All my promotional activities failed. I waited for you till the maturity stage, so that the sales diminish and competition may appear with similar products in SNAP. Your pricing became lower; still you did not care for me.

Now, during your decline stage, I have several options. I can still accept you; maintain you by possibly rejuvenating with added features and finding new dimensions. But, I prefer, discontinuing the product, liquidating remaining inventory or selling it to another firm that is willing to continue the product.

I prefer to select from the new range of products arriving with PG 2011.Additional costs will be incurred with impression costs, restaurant costs, movie costs, petrol costs, etc but the experience would be fresher.

Thanks for the offer, but since you are late and obsolete by now, I don't have the shelf space in my heart to accommodate you.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't wait till decline, new products may eat up your market share and remain the bigger part of the pie.

That’s a Ramshas love story, coming to an end in the second semester.

Last word: The guy continued in the vicious cycle, never getting a proper product as per his wants, needs and desires. Innovation continued. Better products inundated the growing market. They declined his plush offers due to his past ( brand disloyalty factor ). He too continued his quest, ending up unmarried..... ;-)

A lesson for him too. Select even when the product is at decline and try to revive it. Don't let a good product die. :P :P

7 comments:

Rajalakshmi said...

LOL LOL! Ramshas should probably get a personal copy of this write up - very profound marketing lessons for the taarjet maarkit ;)

Supriya said...

:D hahaha
oh boy. i think you should write a PR, MR and AV edition of the same book.

Deepali said...

LOL.

Rejil Krishnan said...

@Raj: Who else but you can define the tarjet markit better ;) Whi(z)kid away ;)
@Sup: Actually, MR = media relations hein tho council ko deta hoon... :P
@Deeps: BOL nahi BALL ( s) ;)

akshay said...

I officially declare u mad Rejil !
However this was one of the bests that i read recently..

Its def the chojjjn one !

Midhun Murali said...

WAIT!!!

So PLC can be implemented in life also??!! Wow, what an insight!

Now can i do something that I know?

In this model we have four kinds of girls;
1) Cash cows
2) Stars
3) Problem Children/Babes
4) Dogs (or B*****s)

Cash Cows- Consider them for marriage only. Usually rich, need not be beautiful. Preferably NO romance or love. We can use the material assets of cash cows to attract other beautiful girl friends.
Stars: Best of all, they'll spend for us and equally beautiful. Use investment from cash cow to make 'stars' happy. There is a probability/danger(according to your requirement) that stars could turn in to cash cows, sooner or later.
Problem Children/babes: As the name indicates the cost of gifts and treats would be comparatively higher for this kind. Suitable for short term relationships. Try investing some money from cash cow in problem babes to change them to stars, if it is not happening. DIVEST!
Dog(B*****s): Don't even look at this option, more maintenance cost and no output. If you have one divest it as early as possible and try to get the gifts back and invest in stars or problem children!

Sweta said...

This could be chojen aj one of the best posts in your blog!!

@ Midhun ... i like your interpretation of the BCG matrix!!! may be you could improvise more