Lavale in Newspapers !

A Random thought !

Is it mere coincidence that the college ATM also behaves like the University? You insert your card and cash comes only when you trigger the FASH CASH button.

Genetic it seems ! Or is it just that once anything comes to Symbi campuses gets into the habit of withdrawing fast-cash or say extorting cash from the hard earned pockets ?

Another exercise ! ! !

The college ground is dug. They made a mountain out of the dug earth. Now they are filling the holes and know not where to put the remaining earth they dug out.

So, the colonel has come up with a classic idea to dig more holes to accommodate the remaining earth... But...now, the engineer has a new confusion !

Where will he keep the freshly dug earth? SIU rocks :P err.. SIU & rocks... ;)

A BLUE-tiful exercise !

Chandrayaan - I & Mars Pathfinder had commonly reported of a blue coloured sprinkler structure that could be seen from Mars & Moon. NASA scientists special research wings confirm this to the jet of water found at Lavale. The bathroom blue(S) of the so called marvel is glaringly reflected even on the surface of moon. The presence of water on Moon as confirmed by Chandrayan is even reported to be a result of this jet of water.

"It looks as if the leftover bathroom tiles are put to some use. A new Nek Chand and Rock garden is in the making"- Said Environment scientist, Bluekaysee at a conference, which was also attended by Discovery channel who offered cash to crash into the blue-tiling futile effort.

Awards announced

The great architect of the year award was received by the person-in-charge at Symbiosis who designed and executed the so-called-fountain. The pseudo-aesthetic moron who approved the design is rumoured to receive the first Nobel for helping the world in a major way with Design awareness.

Norwegian Nobel Committee cited the reason behind this nomination as to have helped many a student to spring back to life. One of the students in terms of anonymity told that the confidence instilled is students of various countries with the fountain installation is immeasurable. Many students who till date rued their fate of being the worst on planet earth in Design also got a fresh lease of life.

This award is also nominated for initiating & inculcating better design sense in students after experiential viewing. The awareness it brought is inexplicable, this taught our students how very good campuses can also be spoilt by men without mercy, said a press-ed release by Prof. Youcansee.

N.B: Special blue spectacles which nullify blue-effects are being donated to students. This helps in saving the retina and promises better vision possibilities even after viewing tragic constructions on planet earth.

Fest-O-Comm ! ! !

HEIGHTS OF (MIS)COMMUNICATION : (Click on the above picture;)

If not for this golden opportunity to l-"earn" my MBA in Communications Management from Symbiosis at Lavale, I would have missed meeting this unique plant accredited with a doctorate and a designation ! ! !

What will a so called foreign delegate on campus infer from this ?

That the tall, thin, long, leafless plant is Dr. S.B. Majumdar ? or is it that Dr. S.B. Majumdar looks like this ???

Even in local Govt Schools, the trees planted by eminent personalities are labelled as - Planted by "Xyz" on "xx/yy/zzzz"

Or is it that Symbiosis is privileged to write what they feel like?

Dear Symbiosis-INTERNATIONAL-University,

We ignored all your previous blunders, but this is three much ..errrr... TREE much for us to accept.

This is the actual FESTIVAL-OF-COMMUNICATION ! ! !

THE individuals and Society ? ! ! !

You can't blame symbiosis for not returning the mess fees for the 6 months when we are not on campus. Did you not read the MISSION statement before entering Lavale campus?

If you are not too sure about the nuances of the English Language, read this carefully.

The MISSION statement says - To create & to advance, to propagate and to apply knowledge in all fields for the sustained growth of the individuals and Society.

THE individuals mean some very specific people in the Symbiosis family. Obviously, it's not a mistake like you earlier thought it to be ;)

Now, for the rest of it, please watch closely, the "S" of the society is in capital letters, which again means the Symbiosis SOCIETY.

Now tell me, can you blame Symbiosis in any way for being whichever way they are? :P

Snake Scam !

The latest Movie Library

A new Cinema Library is added to the Symbiosis family. This species from PG2011 has got the unique habit of demanding movies that are yet to be released. She is currently flourishing in the IP of SIMC. After a lot of deliberations, the library is titled as "SD", though not after the rugged two wheeler.

THE BEST QUOTE AFTER "Jisko Maloom Hein USko Pata Hein"

""Develop your Eyesight into Vision"" - Sri Sri Suhas Maharaj !

Snake Charmers in News

After a flawlessly successful first and second semester, the task of fooling people with snakes came to an end for Aks Bridge Krish, the eternal snake charmer. He was caught on camera by a Papparazzi while DROPPING OFF a snake on the mountain top.

It was found that Aks Bridge never left the snake to the wild, but gave it a safe abode in a carefully constructed hole, which he visited once in a couple of days. The modus operandi was to carry it back to the GIRL's hostel or premises, when he found that the popularity chart came to a decline.

Any news of the snake used to prompt Aks to run with his latest acquaintance in a FLASH-y "DivX" player to a specific point in the entire girl's hostel, giving detectives the hint of a scam. If in case no one spots the snake, a rabbit would jump out of the window crying - "Snake, snake..", immediately making Aks Bridge run to the hostel.

This rabbit is also being questioned, said a Punjabi turned Mallu policeman MM, who was first to bring the scam to light.

Not only that, the charmer has got another harmer ...sorry... charmer with him in DivX of PR. DivX's roommate cites the courtship not for the love of the reptiles, but as yet another logic behind the well guarded flashy secret.

NOTE: All the girls are requested to note these points. ;)

• The stripes of the snake will be the same every time. Does the SIU's "tie-in-the-mess-too" uniform theory apply uniformly across all the creatures at Lavale; including the snakes ? - Jus pondering !@!

• The size of the snake caught will be the same. Is it that only snakes from nurseries and schools of the snake family stray to the hostels?

• Why is that the snakes are 95% of the time found only in the girls hostel or premises? Do the snakes have a liking to human females like the charmers ? ;) :P :P

The case is in the supreme court. Aks and DIVX please appear ! :P

TNG Hat-trick !

One of the outstanding achievements at SIMC happened this week. Don't ask who earned the accolades! It is so rumored that he will also be given the Young Achievers Award in Pune footprints 2009. This boy challenged the university to try making him write the exams and not vice versa. The university finally failed. Let’s read how.

A set of three students EARNED a TNG (Not a Bournville) by getting their third semester cancelled due to their exceptionally appreciable performances in the disciplinary side of their previous internships.

The student in picture comes to me: “Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

Rejil tries his best and after a week of discussions gets him off the TNG hook. Let free to breathe free, he takes his first deep breath and opens his eyes to find a paper on the notice board that reads

Students below a CGPA of 2.0 and hence is a TNG in the third semester is listed below.

The person EARNS it again. He comes running to me and says - “Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

Rejil tries his best and after another week of discussions gets him off the TNG hook. Left free to breathe free, he takes his first deep breath and finds a paper on the notice board that reads.

Final attendance list – Semester III

Due to swine flu and other related good times, few of the lucky ones are left off the noose with a 70% attendance. The elated souls dance with joy of not getting a TNG.

Our man looks at the list and looks at me. Even without uttering a word, I could read his mind, which was constantly chanting.

“Please help me somehow and let me off the TNG knot!”

And I look at him and the notice board – “66.5%? Impossible”

“Me or the attendance?” – He quips

You EARNED it the third time in the third semester alone, making it a record of sorts’ man.

As symbi folklores would say, this is the story of a boy who slept on the most used railway tracks only to find the train going on a generally ignored track. But alas, finally one day, he switched on the ceiling fan only to find it rotting on his head leaving him unconscious on the ground.

All the best buddy! You can’t be saved of a TNG, but surely from the exam blues!

The Walking Questionnaire

A simple short story from SIMC

The great DB collects HTML assignments from PR

One great lady, THE WALKING QUESTIONNAIRE, calls him & ASKS as her habit is- "DB, Can I mail you the assignment ?"

DB -"Yes, you can"

The Walking Questionnaire - "DB, can you please tell me if you got it? If not, can I IP you the HTML assignment ?"

DB -"Better if you can IP me"

As amused as DB can get, he finds the HTML code copied and pasted in the IP window

(DB goes bonkers and advices her to IP a New folder)

Even before the blink of an eye, there comes on IP a folder titled - "NEW FOLDER", which to DB's surprise is empty.

DB becomes the sitting questionnaire and asks -"What is this for? What purpose does this empty folder solve?"

The Walking Questionnaire - It's you who told me to IP a NEW FOLDER. Now why are you asking me so?

DB accepts defeat and says - "Madam, please zip your files and IP it"

3-4 minutes pass and DB becomes anxious with a no response

Suddenly one IP window POP'S up with a zipped folder

A more than happy DB jumps in joy to have been successful in communicating the message properly. Before he lands on the ground, another zipped file comes and yet another and another. It stops at 5 zipped files and DB opens one after the other to find each picture of the HTML as a single zipped file.

DB stops asking anymore questions and unzips each of it, compiles all of it in the generously donated NEW FOLDER and submits to Dharam sir.

(20/20 DB for this effort and the walking questionnaire still continues her walk with truck loads of pregnant questions to give birth to)

Conserving energy ! ! !

X: What's new at SIMC

Y: SIMC ? What is that ?

X: Arrreyyy... Symbiosis Institute of Media and Communication.

Y: Seems you aren’t updated. It's rechristened boss !

X: Ohh! I never knew. But as what?

Y: Now it's known in the industry as SIEM.

X: SIEM?!

Y: The SYMBIOSIS INSTITUTE OF EVENTFUL(L) MANAGEMENT, keeping in mind the number of events conducted every week.

X: Every week?

Y: Yes, at least twice in a month, we see the local newspapers carry snippets of some event.

X: Like?

Y: Module meet, Council meet, Media meet, Sponsorship meet, Sports meet, Creative meet, Mess meet, Footprints meet, Assignment meet, .ppt meet and so on and so forth.

X: Do they get a good crowd?

Y: Why not? Even the guy called Rahul roams around with an attendance sheet.

X: The mess chap?

Y: Yes !

X: (Mouth agape) But why?

Y: Areeey... Even dinner after the event is compulsory. Else TNG, off campus, off placement, suspension!

X: How caring yaar! I envy you. I too should have been in SIMC. Btw what is this off campus rule like?

Y: It's a super rule, where the student is told to be off the residential campus for some indiscipline, while his parents are kept in the dark. No one from the committee even enquires whether the student has a local guardian, where he/she is from? How safe she will be off campus? No one even thinks about what the consequences are if she goes all alone to the city to stay? Is it in some hotel she is put up for the week mentioned? What security does she get outside the protective wings of the campus administrator? The rule remains as blank or as bald as the DISCO dancers head, while the parents are oblivious of the whereabouts of their ward ! They believe that their kid is safe in a residential campus like in other better residential campuses !

X:DISCO dancer?

Y:Areeeey.. the DISciplinary COmmittee head ! From next week onwards, I have heard that there will be attendance even at the coffee shop, stationery shop, canteen, saloon etc.

X: (Mouth and eyes wide open now) But why?

Y: Symbiosis follows the principle of Vasudhaiva Kudumbakam, an umbrella under which all currencies... errrr... students come together.

X: The global bank? (Mouth, nose, eyes wide open)

Y: Not exactly, something similar though with the currencies, but in translation it’s a Global village!

X: Oops ! But getting back to what we were discussing…attendance in the shops!?

Y: Listen, the word ‘Symbiosis’ itself means co-existence between diverse organisms in which each may benefit from the other. Exclude the students and their parents here and it is perfect.

X: So, the shopkeeper benefits from the student and the student from the shopkeeper. Am I getting a gist of the business model?

Y: Yes, yes. It's simply great. You are a fast learner. Hear this too! We get our "Masters" in Business Administration from the "Masters" of business administration.

X: Lucky souls! You pay to SNAP every tie you had in life and be on the hilltop cut off from culture and civilisation. By the way what was the event for the week?

Y: Today was "Environment Sustainability & Energy conservation". We had it in full bright light, artificially lit with just 74 bulbs in the auditorium itself.

X: Just 74??? ! ! ! It’s a good number for an auditorium you have.

Y: Yes, 32 in one chandelier of bulbs and 32 in another added to 10 side wall lights!

X: And they spoke of saving energy?

Y: As you too know, the world just blabbers in forums and not a single speaker voiced his concern on the energy being wasted right in front of him/her.

X: When irony and hypocrisy rules the world, who cares for a small seminar in some remote corner of the world ? Hope they learn that 'Charity begins at home'

(A security appears from nowhere)

Security to X: You are in Pink shirt. As per the college rules, only girls are allowed to use pink color. Give me your identity card. Strict actions will be taken against you.

X: Hello, am not a student of this campus.

Security to X: Then, you must wear only light and dark green combination dress, in sync with the pollution free campus rule.

PHEWWWWW....

Y interferes: Please bhaiyya, pardon just for now. We are leaving the campus premises now.

Y to X: Btw we also are having a new rule coming up regarding the uniforms! You must not wear briefs when you are in the academic premises.

X: But ! But ! Y !

Y: Someone told the university rules committee that SIMC faculty gives briefs in every class. To avoid such properties from being taken home, the security is strictly told to check everyone before he leaves the campus and before entering the premises, along with the ID card. To avoid any confusions between his own brief and the colleges brief, students are strictly told not to wear briefs!!!

X: My gwaaaaaaaad ! ! ! (& the guest slips into a BRIEF coma.)

Wishing all the best to Symbiosis. Khuda Haafiz!