Footpath to Footprints - A journey of survival

The Gujju salesmen : Post liberalization, India has grown leaps and bounds in technology. Businesses along with the people have grown uncompromisingly big. A classic example of technology intruding into an average salesman's life is being portrayed in the photograph. DivA-Raj & Cheenton are two local T-shirt sellers from Ahmedabad, who once upon a time were used to knocking at every door available trying to imprint an Ahmedabad footprint in the Gujju hearts, ending up instead with prints on their cheeks. But today, thanks to technology and their prowess in communication, coupled with an uncanny acumen to do business from the ignorant to the enlightened, they have crafted a niche space in the business environment even on hilltops. The click of a button, movement of the cursor, running of the mouse, the entire product catalogue vibrates on their Gujarat laptop. Moreover, the smile says it all. Keep 'Vibrating Gujarat', we the 'shakers and movers' are with you. From Ganesh ji's Mouse to 'Logitech' Mouse, their lives have been transformed.

The Bangalore model : This gentleman, Roentgen (Not the X-ray fame), sells Brand Bangalore & Bengaluru, all in one go. If the right hand goes for the old wine in new bottle nomenclature, the left lives in sync with the globally accepted and internationally well-known cosmopolitan culture called Bangalore. The new business model being, Ask Anything, Any shape, size, model or color, we have it with us - Team Bengaluru.
The salesman's attire itself is amply laudable. Coat, suit, boot, tie, rainbow colors while treasuring the local flavor in those comical looks, add to the true essence of a brand called Bengaluru.

‘Flagship’ Institute

An SIBM candidate interviewed in flagship style

…… Introduction and business rounds over, the SIBM candidate is taken to the general round of the campus interview.

Interviewer (I): Would you like to be placed in India or abroad?

Flagship (F): UK is my first choice and then the US

I: Any particular reasons?

F: Indian flag has just too much of ‘mera waala colors’ and one MRF tyre in the middle. But see the British flag, vibrant criss-cross racing from one corner to another, amazing color combination and a positive (+) attitude in the middle…

I: Hmmm…Which are the colors in the Indian tricolor?

F: (Thinks) Tricolor means three colors. (He had once overheard SIMC 2010 discuss three colors and blurts out confidently) -

R,G,B

I: What?

F: I mean colors…R for Red err..Rose, G for Green, B for Blue err..Black…no…Brown… (Thinks aloud) What does this B stand for?

I:Wait, I will give a clue. There are four colors in the flag.

F: FOUR??? (Remembers SIMC and the overheard conversation ) Is it C, M , Y, K ?
C for Charcoal black, M for Maroon, Y for Yellow and K for... K for.... Koffee color....

I: You got the entire palette wrong Mr. Flagship, it has saffron, white, green and Navy blue for the Asoka chakra, and it’s not your Brand MRF.

F: sorry sir, I just remembered the flag clearly. You can ask anything & I'll answer.

I: OK. What is the order in which the colors are arranged in the Indian tricolor?

F: (Thinks again) Blue on top, no no.. green in the centre… hmmmm… why so much of colors, my God!!!

Like a bolt from the blue, the flagship’s eyes open wide and a smile adorns the embarrassed lips. He blurts out with an oozing energy punch.

GREEN ON TOP. WHITE IN THE MIDDLE. SAFFRON AT THE BOTTOM & A BLUE ASHOKA CHAKRA.
Just afterwards, Mr. Flagship pumps his fist high in the air as a mark of triumph.

I: How did u arrive at this confident conclusion from a minute back of sheer ignorance ?

F: (With pride reflecting largely as the ego he always had treasured)

I remember the recorded version of SIBM’s Republic day ceremony, captured on camera, by Chanel [V], at Symbiosis, Lavale in 2009.

I: Great, how long had this been happening?

F: Ever since SIBM was born.

I: OK. For your information, I was there at Lavale during the last Republic Day, where the flag was unfurled upside down. If you want to learn how a flag is unfurled with all its dignity, loyalty and respect, wait till the next Independence Day. Watch with open eyes and see how SIMC does it.

The flag consists of three rectangular panels of equal width. SAFFRON ON TOP. WHITE IN THE MIDDLE. GREEN AT THE BOTTOM & A BLUE ASHOKA CHAKRA IN THE CENTRE, with all 24 spokes visible on either sides. Saffron if down intentionally amounts to disrespect as per The Prevention of Insults to National Honour Act, 1971.

At least you should have had the audacity to lower the flag and unfurl it again. You won’t be selected in our company as long as you are not in a position to understand your own country and its basic protocols.

Truce. The white flag is shown and the flagship candidate ejects entirely flagging, head hung in shame, pride wiped off the visage, sorry for the country, sorry for himself and deciding to emulate the little big things from SIMC.

N.B: For SIMC - [V] channel covered the beeline for signing the attendance sheet. Poor souls saw the crowd and thought that some scoop sure is in availability. They knew not that in the name of an attendance, SIMC can be held at ransom even on a Republic Day / Independence Day . IRONY !!!

“Itna paisa mein itna-eech milenga”

Saree-Bharee Show culminates

First International-Saree-Bai Conference Concludes

Lavale, India: The First ever All-Bai-Saree(ABS) conference was conducted peacefully in two separate halls at the same venue. A big rally of SIMC Marcom Mascom workers and a public meeting were held here to mark the culmination of the eventful day of the meri-saree-messy party.

History was created when Bai’s from almost 28 states and 7 Union territories joined hands to discuss the future of brooming err…grooming communication strategies. The day was also marked with the fellow BHAI’s being reprimanded for their unshaven and variously designed moustache and beards.

Lavale turned brown in the evening with large number of SIMC `brown hue guards' participating in the rally that started from near the mess in the morning.

There was a large turnout of sympathizers and Empathisers at the Academic block, including 2009 SIMC, 2009-2010 SIBM, SITM. The venue of the public meeting was thronged by the team, including Registrar for External Affairs, SIMC Guys group and No-to-Education office members.

Bai’s said that the rally was to display the strength of the hues of yellow in the hilltop as the tradition of Saree was being revived in the town after a gap of 10 years. The leaders claimed that nearly 160 brown-draped volunteers were mobilised to take part in the rally.

The public function was inaugurated by Ms. Aarti, Senior Bai of Baichara group, Rajkot. Brown party leader Keerat presided. A special Radio/TV program "Bhai-Bai" was also introduced by Ms. Nautanki on Radio Symbi to commemorate the special event.

The Bai's after the conference.

Footprints and Sabarimala Temple

The connection, comparison and results.

The pilgrimage begins in the month of November and ends in January. The temple attracts pilgrims not only from the southern states of India, but also from other parts of the country and abroad.

So does footprints. Instead of pilgrims, it’s the speakers and audience who come abuzz.

Pilgrims set out in groups under a leader, and each carry a cloth bundle called Irumudi kettu containing traditional offerings.

So does Footprints.The entire faculty are supposed to carry big big boxes. Pigeons to Faculty - The transformation.

According to legend, the temple of Sabarimala and the deity of Ayyappa have always been regarded as the Pandalam Raja's very own. So permission from the King has to be attained before proceeding to the temple.

Exactly like Footprints and faculty.

The vrith can be undertaken only after getting permission from one's parents and Guru. It should be undertaken in such a manner as to cause no inconvenience to one's family.

So is it in Footprints.

The day before the vrith begins, one has to offer prayers to ones' family deity.

So does all the teams religiously.

On the day of the vrith, the devotee rises early, bathes, prays to the family deity and performs a pooja to the holy mala. He will be accompanied to the temple by his Guru and receive his mala from him.

So does footprints and the gurus along with young achievers.

The Thiruvabaranam box contains a diamond crown, golden bracelets, necklaces and a sword. The priests adorn the Lord with these and perform arathi.

For footprints, The box contains blouses, petticoats, coats and suits along with some colourful certificates.

Finally a brilliant light of amazing magnificence appears in the northeastern side to the temple. It is believed that this brilliant flame of light is the arathi performed by the rishis and the devas. This event marks the culmination of the pilgrimage to Sabarimala.

Here it varies - It can be thunder, lightning or showering @##$%$....or else a Kick-AS(s) Event… :)

PR/ADmissions, Other News and Views

GD / PI RESULTS ANNOUNCED

With the GD / PI lists out, the AD/PR quotas and the rest of the philanthropists are turning busier, trying to churn strategies to help out the young, ignorant chick…err children. The strategic directions may help the GIRLS reach Lavale, but mostly would prove a damp-squib, considering the abundance of innate talent in the philanthropists to importune. Being singly far-sighted, it’s also rumored that coconaughty is in search of a new tender coconut to build up on his lonely profile. (Mallus preferred, as Amma told so)

Example of Philanthropy:

http://coconaughty.blogspot.com/2008/12/dashavatar.html

Please refer the SECOND link. The first link stands deleted due to unspecified reasons.

(Don’t worry 2010. It’s never too late. You have time till Feb 31st. Interested candidates can apply at actorsanonymous@simc.edu – Thanks, Moderator Muni Monki)

NEW COLUMN ADDED TO THE ADMISSION LIST

A new column will be amended in the 'Assignments' addendum, as follows and will be notified via all major websites and newspapers. It reads –

Qn 1: Are you COMMITTED?

Qn 2: If yes, from when & are there chances of a break up?

(Singles get preference, considering the number of broken hearts and singles in 2010 PG)

NEW RULES DURING GD/PI

• Girls dating guys or vice versa during the GD/PI is a cognizable offence. If, inseparably in love after the admission process, one of them will be forcibly evicted. (This is to prevent you from further doom, as otherwise you will get either FOCked or DAMned in the love u find)
  
• The girls/guys likely to fall in love after the admissions are supposed to mail a self-attested copy of the same to the college at loveblossomedatSIMC@simc.edu (Attachments: Date, place, location, time, how, when and why should be neatly mentioned) - Considering population concerns, Parent/Guardian signature is NOT required.
  

2010 PLANNING TO TAKE REVENGE

Batch 2010 plans to poach all the available singles from the ‘to be’ 2011 batch, marking the beginning of a bitter senior-junior vendetta, which began last year when 2009 scored the goals and won the bulk of the available fruits.

CSR SIR’S PARENTS SUMMONED

As the warning letters crossed the number three mark and after all the academic fiasco, CSR took a beating with recession, and his parents were seen alongside. It seems likely that the parents are supposed to take the child back home.

SNAKE CHARMER AKA DOG CATCHER TO TURN BEE CATCHER

Akshay, the professional charmer in the habit of wooing snakes and dogs alike, is marching into greener pastures with bees becoming his new neighbours. Those girls who are in the CRUSH-ing business are also going to lose out in the race with racy bees- says an unquoted source.

CHEEBOO GETS A NEW NEIGHBOR

After years of strenuous wait, Cheeboo's eyes got the much needed rest as new neighbors settled a step above his head. They are supposedly thought to be of the silent variety, but remembering Cheeboo's history of wooing honeybees, the day doesn’t seem far when the sting-fling operation would begin. (PICTURES TO BE UPLOADED SOON, BEE IN THE WAITING LIST)

QUOTHA GLORIFIED

Fungiosis IP wars took a new dimension as Quotha’s frequently multicast ‘question marks’ got a torrent of answers in flat 30 minutes. The responses were showered in profusion from all quarters, leaving the PR packaged balloon punctured and the rest of the parts handicapped. He is recuperating on the 5^th floor, brooding over his fate and the moment that made him a multicast-error.

Meri saree maan samman gayi …

Gone with the wind??? Yes, Almost...

Every Friday evening, 2010 girls have a specified routine. Sleep early and wake up early, for Saturday is a day they love to wear sarees.

The most beautiful Keerat girl goes to college, all decked up in the polka dotted saree. Though imitating the cute Amul girl, luckily doesn’t end up as a hoarding / on a hoarding.

The Saturday routine is as follows

Wake up alarm: 6 am
Morning chores: complete by 7 am.
Sari cladding (A new add-on, unlike metal cladding): From 7:00 am till eternity.

Thanks to the time it takes to wear her saree, Keerat is already late to class and is rushing.

As she walks past the mess minus her regular toast, an earsplitting invitation reverberates in her tympanum.

OYEEEEEYYYY…..

Keerat turns back and looks at the distant figure nearing her. (Long shot)

The lady comes near, panting hard, she shouts

Kya oyey ladki, time pe aaati tho nahi. Uper se bhaag kidhar rahi ho..??

Keerat: Aap koun?

Lady: Arey, mujshe kya poochti hein…. (Keerat begins to get worried, clear on her forehead with the quantity of sweat droplets born in a moment )

(The lady continues): Mein idhar hostel mein pocha karne waloon ki director hoon. Tujhe Babu sahib ne bheja hein ki nahi?

Keerat : (lost in the wilderness) Koun Babu sahib…?

Lady: Arey, wohin jisne tujhe idhar bheja hein, mess hall ka pocha karne…

Keerat is exhausted, not understanding how she could ever be mistaken for a local BAI.

Lady (continues nonstop…): Humko pata tha tu aayegi nau baje ko heee. Late aur upar se poochti hein aap koun!!!…sharm nahi hein kya...le jhaddooo…shuru kar safayi…. Aur tera yeh uniform jo hein na, achi dikhthi hein…apne BAI logon ki union ne dijieeen (Design) ki thi, chaaar saaal pehle. Tab mein ek choti si ladki thi….nannha sa, pyaara sa... (and becomes nostalgic)

Keerat tries to escape from the mistaken identity, blaming all on the polka dotted demi-Gods.

Suddenly Shiffy runs past swiftly, holding to the saree more than her dear life.

BAI sees shiffy, & comes back from the reverie: Oyeye, itne logon ko kyon bheja hein babu sahib ne ??? !!!

By the time she is wondering and pondering, both of them escape to the academic block.

ASid sir comes to enquire: HOW ARE YOU ALL FINDING IT IN THE NEW FOUND GRACE OF A SAREE?

Pat comes the reply: BADA AAYA LAATH SAHIB, SAREEENI KHAIR KHABAR POOCHAN WAALA.

Curtains down.

The words come in dissolve.

SAREE SIMC - WE HELP HIDE THE BEAUTY IN YOU

And the jingle follows...

You come..

with eyes sparkling and smile scintillating

with voice lilting and long tresses mellowing

you come… my lady… in a saree..

and I wail beyond the control of my senses,

where have you lost your beauty dear,

how have you lost your beauty dear….

On the notice board:

Special classes will be held every morning to teach girls, as well as interested boys, on how to reduce the lead time wearing a saree. An assignment will have to be submitted by the semester end, where three different sarees are to be analysed for their material, ease of use, color, design, polka dot size and etc etc etc.

DON'T LAMENT. WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS WILL BE RELEASED SOON. CD's & CASSETTES WILL BE AVAILABLE ON SIMCTUBE.COM.

Honeybee

Honeybee's unrestricted entry to the boys hostel celebrated

BAR BAR dekha, hazaar BAR dekha. Yes, it is the HONEYBEE.
After all those commotion over SURROGATE ADVERTISING, and rumors rife over booze in the boys hostel, here comes the original HONEYBEE. Girls will soon be allowed to enjoy that special sting-y feeling after a honeybee nip.

Nota Bene: Not a SIP for you at the girls hostel.

My name is Kaushik Misra

Dadu approaches the SIMC office to get his uniform.

Dadu: Ma'am, i haven't received my uniforms

Madam: Your name, please

Dadu: Kaushik Misra

( A rampant search ensues )
After 5-10 minutes, bhaiyya returns empty handed

Madam: Kaushik, we couldn't find any packet with the exact name written on it, but, there is one which spots an almost similar name.

Dadu: Let me see.

A minute elapses. Kaushik comes out aghast, with the polythene packet in hand.

The name reads: KAUSHIT MISRA ???%$##*(&^%)(*#& !!!

(Few years down the line)

Dadu: My name is COW SHIT MISRA.

Urban dictionary says:

COW SHIT - noun. Meaningless, worthless, and voluminous material; esp. written or published material.

Reaction time...

• Mosquito bites Midhun in January. It Itches him in May

• Someone jokes in April. Students laugh in October

Impossible you say?

Not at all... SIMC analogies have proved it & they are currently bidding for an award for excellence in challenging a students’ explanation to some incoherent, illiterate n illogical query.

Premise

Team Kochi mails the Director in November, detailing on how they suffered since the mementoes were received on the event day afternoon, certificates and uniforms a day after the event.

A shower of incoherent sentences follows from the office. Neither do they apologize, nor do they ensure that this won’t happen again. NAAC, you see!!! All stars and grades now. Not just that, they get time to find fault with the student who mailed with a request to ensure that the same issues are not repeated with other teams.

Every possible person with a little of sense remain quiet. Why purposely make your hand dirty with slush, when slush is about a mile away?

An agitated office succeeds in marking that person’s name for an inquiry committee in February.

So November bites & February scratches.

We consulted a doctor. He speaks, “it’s due to a delay in reaction time.”

DEFINITION OF

Reaction time: Elapsed time between the presentation of a sensory stimulus and the subsequent behavioral response.

Causes of a Delayed response

Parkinson's

Premature Sign's of ageing

·
When in an inebriated state.

The last reason is the simplest.

• When one doesn’t have a legal point while being rude and arrogant to a decent mail.

• Also when the so called wiser people find the student as a minnow, never to be cared for.

(Forgetting to understand that the student is the bread and butter of any educational institute and hence they need to be respected)

So, beware SIMCians! There are chances that the first semester mistake or the petty crimes you committed be charged in 2011 while you will be working.

WTF???

Ohhh…. Okok… WE THE FOOTPRINTS….

@#$%^&*($%

Nahi? Then Kya? Okok..now it’s clear…WE THE FOOLS …is it?

Accepted. Endorsed. A+++ in BARK. No, No, not another word to shout.

Grammatical error???

Not at all. It’s an acronym, which means Brainstorming Against Rejil Krishnan.

Courtesy: Thanks to Akshay Brijkrishan for the brilliant spark in an analogy - Mosquito and Itch - The duration.

Some Sem Surprises

• Dadu visits the library

Dadu, fondly called by the ham-buggers as Khau, visited the SIMC library after a prolonged gestation. Welcomed by the three librarians with library cards and the day’s newspapers, the event brought tears to the eyes of regular library goers. The annals of the Symbiosis history marked this incident in golden letters with one more “First time in the history of SIMC”.

Yet, Dadu claims that he always yearned to be a part of the library. The only issue was that he could never figure out the exit. The claustrophobic feeling of being trapped, juxtaposed with the fear of death, amidst the bibliophiles, kept him away. Rumors are rife that Dadu kept away, since a myth in Jamshedpur says that, being among a lot of books would increase heat and hence hair fall.

· DM’s digestive system doesn’t have a stomach

Communication classes turning analogous to the long forgotten Biology classes, were a whiff of fresh air. As always, maintaining the leisure of mis(s)communication the human digestive system forayed from the Oesophagus to the small intestine and large intestine, inviting the bile juice, salivary glands and pancreas to work elsewhere. DM says, “This analogy where the stomach wasn’t mentioned is not a mistake, but a purposeful method to inform students that information isn’t digested, but thrown out as it goes in, due to lack of necessary equipments” . Wah !! wah!!

· Advertising students get a five minute bonus. 30 minutes turn to 35 in Sem two.

The New Year was ushered with cheer and goodwill as CS sir’s resolution bore wings. As the duration of the advertising class increased from 30 to 35 minutes, students heaved a sigh of relief. Though only a marginal increase, students were hopeful that by retirement, the Ad sessions would become 90 minutes, calculating at a 5 minute per year rate.

· Battle of ILL-LUCK-NOW comes to an end. Mirror cracks.

The blood bath that ensured that the entire symbi community, including the board of directors losing their sleep, has finally ended. Ill-luck chased the philanthropist with much LUCK. NOW that blood is perceived to be past, the mirror shattered into pieces. The term “Hoax call” is today being acknowledged and accredited by the Oxford dictionary as a “Mirror call”, all thanks to the similarity in names.

NB: Only the Symbiosis founder and Uttar Pradesh Chief Minsiter escaped the mirror call, as their mobiles were switched off.

· Yellow spreads in the mess.

After two stretched months of dormancy, yellow returned to the mess in style. The tinge had a special significance this year too, since the white curries also have turned yellow. SIMC buzzes in chorus - The Jail-in-wala ‘Mess’acre continues.

· SIMC arrives, Coffee Smiles

The special breed of coffee beans, hand picked and admitted to SIMC, makes the recession hit coffee maker smile. Students, skimpily clad, maybe due to lack of enough winter, offered cold coffee to their loved ones and celebrate their arrival.

· ASid storm strikes Mirrors

The much awaited Footprints was conducted successfully and ASid sir wore the old garb of condescension, reminding students of the good old shivering days they had in the summer of 2008. “Seeing him wear the 4 month old attire was indeed wonderful”, commented some bigwigs.
After ASid storm left the classroom, a cracked mirror was found untouched for fear of another Hoax Bomb call.

• Operation NGO ends

After torturing the inmates and staff of various NGO’s, SIMC soldiers returned from their respective camps located in various quarters of India. They won it after a prolonged operation, said a doctor who just left to Chennai finding better options.

NB: None of the soldiers could return their guns. It’s highly likely that the guns were stitched along with the wounds inflicted to the NGO’s underbelly.

· The great internship hunt begins

Phase II of the great internship hunt began in Lavale. The aerial view to the city from the communication college cut off from civilization, would give enough of internships, opined the seniors.

Midhun's Letter to Mom

Dear mom,

Reached safe and on campus now, thanks to those new directionless signboards, one of which pleads us to be horny as we climb up. Amazingly we have humps at every hair pin bend, maybe for the sharp curves to rise steadily.

The BTL aka Back To Lavale activities have already started. By the way, momma, BTL is a Chandrasekara jargon which chiefly includes ASsignments and ASid tests.

These days my class is receiving a lot of “Eyeballs” from those poor ‘In the barren-land’ guys. The rapid eye to ball movement is treated in an ambulance minus a driver, parked to enhance the beauty of the campus. The ambulance gives out a positive vibe that public are getting enlightened about our mess and food. Dr. Combiflam still exists in white and white. The response rate per click for girls is also more when compared to the October season.

We poor SIMC’ians were caught unawares when recession had impacted the small time shopkeepers in Lavale. The closer interdependence of both genders and their sudden departure is cited as the major reason.

And tell dad that most of our campus problems are solved. For amusement, the college has started a scooter park near the car parking.Presently we have a swimming pool, which operates when we are in the class and shuts shop once we are free; so that no parents need to worry that their child is drowned. Also all the frog-houses are replaced with hyacinth Arya’s. All the devotional books are replaced with aide memoir's. Not just that momma, some of my journo friends are planning to change their religion to ASism as the 'warning' prashad is available only at the beginning of each semester. Also since this God seems reachable after his subjects left their footprints all over the country.

Also mom, forgot to tell u that I have changed my research topic to “how people can ‘drive slow to reach faster’” at Lavale.

I promise that I will learn and reply in Hindi next time. Scratchy is a little sad as there is growing competition to his dirtiest habits from my roomie. Rest of the dog's are still committed. Am trying my lavale best via pagalguy.com to recruit some new species as your daughter -in-Law'ale.

With love,

Midhun.