Silly Jokes ;)

CHAT LOG - A JOKE
Abcdef: rej i am leaving now

:(

u take care..

and will kiss you

miss*

shit that was a HORRIBLE TYPO!!

:O

lol..bye and stay in touch..

:)
ANOTHER FROM A SENIOR

Abcdefg: ya

dear

how r u?

me: am alrighto

hows ur wrk ?

18:50 Abcdefg: u only ask about P******* & not me yyyyy ????? is any thing special going on ?????????

ha ha ha

me: :P

Abcdefg: just kidding

me: haha

M***** asked me today

so when i saw u i suddenly remembered her

18:51 Abcdefg: ok

u know i m a big fan of u

me: aur

y so?

Abcdefg: u r so nice

18:52 me: ohh ! Thanx

Abcdefg: u have a good president , leader ship qualities

n also a good human being

18:53 very much humble

down 2 earth

n many more

me: aanha

ohh..am on clud 9

*cloud

Abcdefg: ;)

me: thanks...

and then... u never tld all ths in college..

18:54 Abcdefg: oh should I , u know Really i would like 2 have these qualities in my boy freind

18:55 u r very nice

me: ohh...

niceness

pray u get someone absolutely good

am jus a chottu mottu seedha saadha aadmi

18:56 Abcdefg: what i like in u you know ? guess?????

guess na ????????????

me: bol, bol

Abcdefg: u guess 1st?

18:57 me: no idea

still thinking!

Abcdefg: when u speak in hindi and your extreme black hairs ,

18:58 u know u look fresh in evening also

we all get tired but u never

me: ohh thnx

its all in the mind

18:59 Abcdefg: chalo bye take care i have go 4 a work

me: okk..

Abcdefg: thanks 4 giving your valuable time 2 me

bye

me: ooops..so formal???

19:00 ok..

Abcdefg: <3>

me: byee'c ya later

:)

A Susu Story

Agar Regil jeans pehan sakta hai, Askshob ko over 18 pub main entry mil sakti hai, Agar Manu chik sakta hai, Agar Aishwariya shant beth saakti hai, Agar Ankita hamesha Bara reh sakti hai, Sunayan fashion beat edit kar sakta hai........Tou bolo Susu ko date kyun nahi mil sakta ?

The results of this viral campaign will be known only on the 15th March 2010, during the farewell party...

Heights of joblessness !

A mail from TURNER INTERNATIONAL, who wishes to recruit for 4 to 5 lakhs is as follows -

Dear Regil,

Please ask the students to come to our Mumbai office in 2 Batches - 11:AM & 12:00 noon

We would like them to make a Presentation on the following topic : “ Introducing CNN to Taj Hotels “. Just a 5 slide presentation. Please ask them not to carry their Laptops we will organize for the same at our end.

Thank you.

abcabc

The first query comes from my student & in a few minutes over phone.

Hi Regil, Do we have to make a group presentation or individual presentations? Many in the group are confused, and not just me. ;). So, please clarify and mail.

Rejil looks at the wall in front...yeah..exactly like in the Adoor Gopalakrishnan art movie & then looks to the left and then slowly pans towards the right side of the wall. Everything still looks the same, and then sports the same blank look he had, when a student enquired about how to give the measurement of her blouse !

NOTE:

This lethargy of not doing one's own work is the only benefit that group presentations & group work have done to SIMC & definitely not team dynamics. It's definitely heights when students are not ready to prepare an individual presentation, even if it comes with a payment of 5 lakh per annum ! ! !

If not anyone, I have a suggestion - Take a cue from the epic Mahabharata, and like Yudhisthira did, make a group presentation at Turner International considering it as Kunti, and request them to divide the CTC called Draupadi amongst all in the team... & yeah, don't forget to write the ROLL NUMERS, in case they decide to assess us on 20 ASSignment marks ! ! !

Sarawati or Lakshmi?

The excavation project at the Lavale-daro village in Pune came to a grinding halt this week.

Some pieces of city history dating back to the 2011's were discovered buried underneath all the rubble that had sat untouched for centuries. While the debate rages on in news channels across India & abroad regarding the decline of a symbiotic dynasty, remnants of the soured relationship between Saraswati, the goddess of Knowledge and Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth has been found.

This finding has led to speculations on whether there was a masquerade in Goddess Saraswati attired as Lakshmi or was it Goddess Lakshmi dressed up as Saraswati that was installed in the hilltops of Lavale in the 21st Century.

It is almost proven by historians and archeologists that, Goddess Saraswati was given a backseat while Goddess Lakshmi held the primary position in the dais. The ignominy of being forgotten led to Saraswati leaving the area, which the event managers failed to notice or ignored her exit, which is yet to be confirmed.

Lavale Historic Preservation Society Vice President Krish Krishnan said, "They represent a very interesting example of the kind of burrowing work undertaken. These were hugely challenging engineering feats where digging a pit to keep Goddess Saraswati led to finding water. Later it was converted to a well, from where water was drawn at Rs 5/- per bucket, thus forgetting Saraswati and giving importance to Lakshmi"

Soon after Goddess Lakshmi also was forced to leave the premises due to global warning, says a press release. Water dried up and so did the dynasty. A sad end to a prospering community, lamented a junior historian, Mr. Ash Daya.

It is also confirmed by historians that, the 'Veena' in the hands of Goddess Sarawati at Lavale-daro was actually a Veena shaped piggy bank used by Goddess Lakshmi.

A Sex Survey !

A research aspirant from SIMC got married. “Horny” as he is, while on his first night, entered not with a perfumed handkerchief, but a questionnaire in hand. Shy & intelligently, he handed the questionnaire in neat white A4 sheets, which read as follows.

The following short questionnaire asks you about your level of sexual desire. By desire, we mean your interest in or wish for sexual activity. For each question, please pick the response that best expresses your level of sexual desire. Your answers will be private and anonymous.

1. During the last month, how often would you have liked to engage in sexual activity with any partner

· Once a month

· Once a fortnight

· Once a week

· Twice a week

2. When you have sexual thoughts, how strong is your desire to engage in sexual behavior with a partner?

Much less desire Much more desire

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

3. When you see an attractive person, how strong is your sexual desire?

Much less desire Much more desire

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

4. When you spend time with an attractive person (for example, at work or at school), how strong is your sexual desire?

Much less desire Much more desire

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

5. How important is it for you to fulfill your sexual desire through activity with a partner?

Much less desire Much more desire

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

6. Compared to other people of your age and sex, how would you rate your desire to behave sexually with a partner?

Much less desire Much more desire

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

7. How long could you go comfortably without having sexual activity of some kind?

· Forever

· A month

· Two months

· Two days

· One day

· Half an hour (like me)

The following statements express various kinds of sexual attitudes and feelings. Please respond to rate how much you agree or disagree with each statement. Once again, your answers will be private and anonymous.

1 = strongly disagree | 2 = moderately disagree | 3 = undecided | 4 = moderately agree | 5 = strongly agree

1. Sex without love is okay.

2. I can imagine myself being comfortable and enjoying casual sex with different partners.

3. I am sexually attracted to women more than to men.

4. I frequently initiate sexual relationships with others.

5. I enjoy looking at magazines like Playgirl

6. It doesn’t take much to get me sexually excited.

7. There should be no censorship of sexual content in plays and films.

8. My conscience bothers me too much when it comes to sex.

Flash News: The researcher from TNS is admitted to the nearby hospital with injuries. Initial reports say that injuries range from fingernail scratches, bruises on his hands and fingerprints on his cheeks. Adding insult to injury is the fact that next week, the researcher needs to go to the family court as SHE will be waiting. Since TNS has a survey to be done on the court premises next week, the researcher is happy that a ‘casual’ leave will be saved and hence money!!

An AKM Signature!

This is how it reads when I receive a mail on placements ;) & thereafter the council never asked for AKM's resume.

Hi,

Please find my short profile in the signature.

Regards,

Arnab Kanti Mishra

SIMC, Pune, India, Globe

Alumnus IIT-Guwahati, Assam, India

MS (Physics, A-C), CAPM (PMI, D-L), MBA-mkt (D-L), Phd. Urdu-fried(L-V), MBBS(V-Z, Surgery)

Gen Sec - PAN IIT Batch 2006, BIDI IIT Batch 2007

Plus Two - Alumnus - KV Hoshangabad

1st-10th - Alumnus KV Hoshangabad

My works:-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/arnab_creativity/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTSBvg4uK-s&feature=autofb

http://picasaweb.google.com/arnab99/MyWork#

arnab.iitg@gmail.com (Personal)

arnab.mishra@simc.edu (Professional)

arnab@alumni.iitg.ernet.in (Professional)

arnab@momdad.com (Home)

arnab@shalom.com (College)

+91 90110 55435 (Professional)

+91 99674 16270 (College)

+91 93228 39123 (Movie)

"Live for food or die for good"

Views & News

Coaching Classes in digging one's own Grave

The PR student, DREAM-NIL SING, who woke up from a long coma after the third semester has decide to coach people in digging one’s own grave. The best part is that she does it without a pickaxe.

The student who is brilliant in copy pasting anything and everything is now in high demand.

Fees charged by her coaching class will soon be regulated by a committee to be set up by the student governance in the next few days. “We are taking the legal department’s help for this,” said a student.

Mirror Majumdar continues

In a function organized by Rural Relations, while, Aadarniya Rezil was awarded with a coconut and a red rose, Mirror Majumdar continued numbering 1, 2, 3 and A,B,C’s much to the amusement of the poor souls. This gesture is seen as a prelude to entering ‘pure Hindi’ politics along with a certain ‘Question’ Mark in the Congress. Adraniya Rezzil has decided to use the red rose at least this V-day and thinks that this is a signal to fall in the web of an elusive, deceitful love. His fingers had been crossed from then and now are cramped.

‘You Can See’ Placed

The latest news to hit papers is that Mr. You Can See was placed during the SIMC placement week of 15^th to 23^rd of Jan 2010. “I will make ISB & M the best event management institute in the country by 2011 and conduct BOC or BEST O’ COMM every year without placements” – said a press release.