Enzymes for Mass Destruction!

Ever since MS Word introduced ‘Synonyms’, many have used it productively, while many have used the same to destroy simple English.

For example, let us see how one of my friends would write the above sentence.

Eternally since MS Word pioneered ‘Synonyms’, countless have manipulated it prolifically, while a myriad number have exploited the equivalent to assassinate unsophisticated English.

(Take a deep breath and start reading again)

Some who never ever read anything beyond the alphabets, showered praise to extremes of finding a Shakespeare reincarnate in the above author. Some others were seen pondering & some lost in oblivion. Many others, who were forced to comment, went in search of Dictionaries/Wiki’s/Thesauruses, all in an effort to translate hieroglyphics to English.

The earliest efforts bore no fruit, as Google crashed when someone pasted just two sentences into the poor window. Then the translator was used, where Google commented as here – ‘Language not yet added. Please wait till we research this new language and script’.

The after effects don’t end here. One English lecturer got fits after reading the first two paragraphs. Luckily my car keys helped. Fate of the other guinea pigs is unknown. Recent medical report says that mental patients who are incurable with the negative stimulus of shock are given a capsule of some special enzyme, without an ‘E’. Ironically, ‘E’ is the most commonly used letter in the English language read and understood by the masses. Doctors say that reading two sentences is all that is enough for showing progress. They are trying the same breakthrough technique on people who suffer from Autism, cerebral palsy etc. If not a Nobel in literature, there is a great probability of a Nobel in Medicine waiting for this author.

The town is rife with rumours that US plans of hire the services of this writer to produce potent arms out of ink and paper. The plan also speaks about distributing this to non-English speaking countries where people die of asphyxiation after reading. In English speaking countries, the strategy is to kill by shock. This supposedly is touted as the weapon that can destroy the world in World War III. The title is Enymes of Mass Destruction (EMD), a variant of the biological warfare. Let's wait and watch!

Some have reportedly cried after reading the material. Doctors are yet to figure the glands from which tears came. Once discovered, this can be injected into the weaker sub-sect, thus making people stronger in taking shock.

On the flip side, many a regular reader/accidentally exposed reader is showing symptoms of fear, unexpected shiver, sweating when prone to words like enzyme, blogspot etc. The immediate message from IMA is to take precautions till an antidote is manufactured. And specifically not to read anything which has words like ocular, colloquy, chiropractor etc...(I’m not going further as a slight frisson has engulfed me)....err... Can you see signs of the disease in the last sentence?! What I meant is – ‘a slight shiver has soaked me’

Looking back, one of the comments reads so – “My English is not that strong. I take a dictionary & sit to understand what you have written but still I don't understand it fully.”

This is a classic example where dictionary failed miserably.

Our take – You are lucky to survive. Don’t tread further. Don’t make a mistake of reading it again!

In the pursuit where many a dictionary failed, another of my friend stumbled upon the source(s) of this spring.

http://goo.gl/MloG or http://watchout4snakes.com/CreativityTools/RandomParagraph/RandomParagraph.aspx

Statutory Warning: If readers are found to use this tool to emulate/imitate the protagonist, you are liable to be prosecuted.

Now let’s get more serious. Yet another comment says - "You have an amazing quality of staying with a reader".

We agree - Ghosts of bad experiences always follow!

Btw the author only accepts good comments. Caustic remarks are aborted. I’m bitten by the shiver again... What I meant is, negative remarks are deleted.

Waiting for more and more...What ? More and more patients to get better with the shock treatment.

On a parting note, do you know what an Enzyme means?

en·zyme [en-zahym] - Any of several complex proteins that are produced by cells and act as catalysts in specific biochemical reactions

On a positive note - Anyone who blames the blog name will be punished. This blog is proven to be complex and is certainly bringing about biochemical reactions in the reader!

Overheard: Eat well, Read well, and Write well. Else, nee thin aayi pokum (You will grow thin)