There ends love...

The mobile phone rang incessantly. A ‘private number’ looked ominous. The receiver expressed surprise in those eyes. Years mend the wound of their pains; still the scars of love remained intact. Seven months and a little more, she couldn’t help calling him again. Happily married in the eyes of her loved ones, some thoughts always lend his face for solace. Strained images of the past appeared like the ghosts of the living. She wept at her loss. Love was all what she sought and love was all what he offered. The life in her stood witness to all the coincidences.

The breeze silted through the curtains. Her face expressed an inexplicable serenity. Reclining in her armchair with a glass of her favorite rosé milk she remembered the chronology of a tattered past. The first ‘Hi’ and with it a torrent of ‘who’, ‘what’ and where’s. Her replies were laced with a sense of insecurity and intimacy. Some truths and half truths. She never liked to lie, at least to him. The breeze blew again and she took a sip. The stained glass was rested calmly against the window sill. Her lips made a mark on the curves of the sweetened glass.

‘What did you have for lunch?’ - The question resounded. The same question that unknowingly made her soul a part of his. She always kept this question for herself. For memories to heal. For memories to hurt. No one cared her privacy nor shared her intimacy.

The breeze continued and so did her feelings. A tear wet her eyeliner and slowly flowed, kissing her cheeks and in the process lending a streak of charcoal dark to the fair cherubs. This time she didn’t care to wipe it.

“Let it be so” she decided.

“After all he too would have shed some tears” She remembered the day. Without an answer, without any notice she left. She had in fact been fooling him.

“Wasn’t she callous?” The self reflections pondered. How could she be so mean to a soul like him !! Her self poked her thoughts with needle precision. She never had been like this. A moment of uncertainty coupled with the fear to open up in front of her loved ones. But that stole her of her future. Those hazy moments, determinant of the murky days ahead. She shuddered at the smile of her spouse. Simple, sweet and lovable, yet never exuding the charm her love possessed. Her feelings never had a worth anywhere.

Another tear swelled and trailed the earlier. The tracks livened again and the drop kissed the breathing bosoms. The glass of rose milk had all those vapours decorating the exteriors. Her heart had drained a stream of guilt. A ray of light silted through the closed indoors. The wedding ring shone in the naughty visitors glance. The atmosphere felt sinister. A neck wrenching pain shifted through her nerves.

The best days of her life. The symbolic code they developed. ‘Miss you’, ‘love you’, ‘thinking of you’ depended on the number of ‘missed calls’. One, two and three in that order.

‘Mandoosey…” she teased him so for the simplicity he possessed. He instead greeted it with a lovely laughter attached. The giggle of his had always been contagious. She not only had her breath out, but had to beg him to stop joking. His gift of humor, she adored. The very reason why she forgot her pains with him, but somewhere trespassed being just a friend. Love germinated like the sapling that lay dormant for years inside the seed. She never knew when she felt the pain, the worries of losing him. She cared for him a lot and he knew it always.

She coughed.

“What happened dear?’ The inner self smiled, thinking of the feigning of illness for him to enquire.

“Go, see a doctor”, he continued. And she would always say a terse NO, for him to get angry and annoyed. She loved him, his anger, his love, his care and wished every second to be the small sparkle of his life.

Imprisoned in the cellars of self pity and vacuous-ness of life, his caring was a relief. The shelter. An umbrella to cover the inner soul. She knew it wouldn’t last long. The water had already started seeping in. yet, how could her selfish mind leave him for a ‘someone’ she never knew. She never understood, yet she accepted….

This is a confession. A leaf from my life. An old story, not oft repeated. It hurt, and it hurt, but I try to forget and tend to fall in love again, yet again and ever again to be taught that it is always a mistake. But it's bliss and nice a feeling. What say? ... :)