Kidkid and Sidkid

A few SIMCians are appointed in a corporate house.

First day - 'We welcome to the family....blah blah blah.. Your email id is sidkid@kidkid.com

To the second one - Your id is - 'dumbkid@spoilkid.com

(As eager and silly as the kid he is, opens the mail box)

The first mail he finds is from the CEO

Dear staff,

As you may have heard, bright minds over at kidkid removed “Reply to All” button to eliminate bureaucracy and inefficiency.

We developed four Mail toolbar configurations for different departments... blah blah blah…

Our sidkid who is a just pass out from the cameras and videos of SIMC cannot resist his habit of simc.edu and clicks the 'Reply to all' button which will be available for a few more dying days.

The reply goes - "ROFLMAO"

The CEO feels like the boxers bag that is punched a 100 times.

Just as he feels the heat building up in him, the inbox cries - 'ping ping'

He reads the next mail, again a reply to all - 'whoa ... wad a F***ing reply ... he he :D Now I know where all your ideas collate and therefore don't relate. Heights of Obscured DESPERATION' :D :P ;) :)

Along with was added all the smilies that he practised during the 4 semesters at SIMC.

The CEO gasps for breath and searches frantically for the inhaler.

The kidkid again writes.

'LMAO. What the bloody F*** do you think the world is all about you A**h***? I am the one with guts, am the one with courage. Kiss me if you can and BLAH..."

And then the dumdkid writes again

"Sidkid ... loved the Boo thing :D..... lmao"

Finally, the very own CEO, like it often happens at SIMC, where the Director also 'replies to all' out of no avail, presses the button that he had decided to eliminate.

"Who are these pests and where have they come from?"

Within a fraction of a second the sidkid and dumbkid mails again in the same tone.

"I seem to have irked the CEO...well did you expect me to send you a bouquet of flowers for sending me this 'reply to all' shit. your post is getting to your head...unless you are an ardent admirer of technology and derive great pleasure in telling the world about ur technical expertise. To you about who i think i am...i am a guy who had the guts to speak up against ur cheap thrills and coming from the great institute called SIMC, Pune."

The CEO not only spams the sidkid and dumbkid, but dismisses the HR and the interviewers, which unfortunately included him as well. With a resignation letter in his hand, the CEO also slightly gets the SIMC syndrome and "replies to all" as follows.

"F*** o** you spammers... Am LMAO ROTFL.."

And the rest is history. All the staff followed suit. Thanks to the two SIMC-ians, the company is now the 'organisation with GUTS' ;) :P :D who adds all smilies available.

Daughter-in-law

Do you know what happens when the daughter in law enters her new house?

The mother-in-law probes with her secretive whiskers in the air & checks how much of her freedom or space is at stake.

Now what happens when the daughter-in-law tries to play dirty?

An example

The daughter-in-law came shy and confused. Once she got the hang of things over there, she showed her true colours. Excerpts from her postcard to the Sarpanch.

Case1
ABC came to me & said - "Regil is working over everything, his job is not to fix internships but then too he did for few students...Regil is just there to Supervise the council/overall activities especially FOC"

Case 2
"Regil,then came to me questioning."
"Abcdea Sir was also very upset with Regil's attitude"

Case3
"Regil came to know about it & thought I had asked not to fix XYZ's internship just because "he is in likely to discontinue list". Instead of trusting me & confirming the fact,he wrote the mail attached below,which was difficult for me accept.

The Poor soul did not know that a postcard can't be posted in an envelope & the classic English literature came to light ! ! !

Cheers to the new lady of SIMC !

& for you - we will meet again in a different job profile ! ! !

Moonuppers & Hunger

Yesterday I saw the Institute Director with tears in his eyes. So, a conversation ensued. The transcripts are here

R: Sir, I can see tears in your eyes. What happened?

D: (In the family serial style) they aren’t brimming with tears. JUST DUST...

R: Yes sir, too much of dust pollution. Global warming, Glacier melting, Climatic change, Crop loss, Famine, Hunger, Death...

(Suddenly tears flow out incessantly. Yes readers, you guessed right. Similar to the well designed buildings at Lavale during rains…)

D: Stop boy, stop. I can't take this any further. Don't hurt me anymore with this conversation. You know what, Mr.President. I was indeed crying after an excruciating pain before you met me. But alongside came like a soothing breeze, the underlying joy to know that my efforts have finally started bearing fruits.

R: Ohh, so you were actually crying! What’s the matter sir?

D: Since you also know the route this world is heading towards, it's right to talk to you.

R: Yes Sir. Let me know.

D: I know that many at SIMC are in disagreement with the NGO internship. All the coconaughty blogs were satire on my love for events. Am aware that the majority in SIMC are not in conjunction with the idea of events

R: (Murmurs to himself... ) So, you were aware & still continue torturing the poor souls, except a Nikhita, who got value worth 18 lakhs from SIMC for the 6 lakhs paid in fees....

D: What?

R: Nothing sir, I was just thinking of Nikhita, who learned a lot with her forte which is events management, the same which SIMC provides in abundance. You continue sir…

D: Hmm….(A sigh) But now I know that people have learned how important events are & NGO internships were. New ideas have evolved. New plans in place. A combo of events & NGO. A new era is on the rising….

(Eyeballs pop out like in the Tom & Jerry cartoons & to stop the excess flow of words, I interfere)

Though with a dreaded thought of whether the joy unbound means more events in the platter, I gathered courage from the left over spaces of my brain and asked

R: But how sir?

D: A group of students who used to do nothing other than drink (Read transparent liquids like....water) after the sun went down at Shree are today in pursuit of real MOONUPPERS.

R: (Still wearing the SPIKE (Dog in Tom&Jerry) look) Kya?

D: Yeah, am now proud of a couple of my students, who have clubbed the idea of NGO internships from semester 1 & Sundowners from events in every semester to eradicate poverty. They founded MOONUPPERS. This brought tears to my eyes.. This phenomenal idea & mission whispers that am finding my efforts nearing fruition.

R: Sir, but to eradicate poverty in SIMC, it would be better if the mess food is improved and the excessive extortion (read fees) is lessened.

D: No dear, this is not about SIMC. The MOONUPPERS in SIMC with a facebook account of 1500 simc’ans from the present batch are getting ready to..….

R: (Interrupts) sir, 220+210+240(UG) makes it 680 only….

D: Am foresighted.

R: What’s in hindsight?

D: My vision sees 1500 on campus next year.

R: Hallucination? OR does it mean we are vying for the ninth wonder of the world?

D: nahi, Visual communication…

R: But facebook?

D: Yeah, as told to me by the Team MOONUPPER members, this is to fool the sponCers, with a ‘C’

R: Why a ‘C’?

D: That is strategy to woo the ‘C’OO’s, ‘C’EO’s, ‘C’FO’s and other ‘C’s of Marketing communications.

R: Wow, appreciated. Btw whose idea sir?

D: From the strong bonding of communications management & mass communication erupted this idea of ‘C’ in communicating to the sponCers.

R: Amazing ‘Convergence!

D: Thanks to them

R: Sir, but getting back to NGO, MOONUPPERS, EVENTS…

D: Yeah, don’t you remember that I had told you that we will make FOC & DAM global this time?

R: Yes sir, I do. But, except going round and round like the globe on a fixed axis, what else has become global here?

D: That’s what! This time MOONUPPERS is a global phenomenon

R: Even otherwise moon comes up somewhere in the globe.

D: Yeah, now I know your awareness level regarding events.

R: Sorry sir.

D: Never mind. We are focusing Africa

R: (In Tamil style) Africaaaava?

D: Yeah, Antarctica is cold.

R: India?

D: India and hunger are not related.

R: (I lose my cool and shout) Have you met any of SIMCian’s parents off late? Many are in penury after paying our fees clubbed with the quality mess food. Poverty looms large on the rest of the parents. With recession having hit hard, they have lost hope & look emaciated. Parents from the senior batch are enquiring what lies ahead!!!

D: Events.

(Phewww… Moonuppers galore who ultimately found meaning in combining the NGO experience & events to start a facebook account to fool global CFO’s into paying money for events, if not jobs. Kudos! Claps! Hat off!)

How does it matter even if you haven't got the thirst of hunger to deliver. Nevertheless, the hunger for an MBA is eradicated….

Lavale in Newspapers !

A Random thought !

Is it mere coincidence that the college ATM also behaves like the University? You insert your card and cash comes only when you trigger the FASH CASH button.

Genetic it seems ! Or is it just that once anything comes to Symbi campuses gets into the habit of withdrawing fast-cash or say extorting cash from the hard earned pockets ?

Another exercise ! ! !

The college ground is dug. They made a mountain out of the dug earth. Now they are filling the holes and know not where to put the remaining earth they dug out.

So, the colonel has come up with a classic idea to dig more holes to accommodate the remaining earth... But...now, the engineer has a new confusion !

Where will he keep the freshly dug earth? SIU rocks :P err.. SIU & rocks... ;)

A BLUE-tiful exercise !

Chandrayaan - I & Mars Pathfinder had commonly reported of a blue coloured sprinkler structure that could be seen from Mars & Moon. NASA scientists special research wings confirm this to the jet of water found at Lavale. The bathroom blue(S) of the so called marvel is glaringly reflected even on the surface of moon. The presence of water on Moon as confirmed by Chandrayan is even reported to be a result of this jet of water.

"It looks as if the leftover bathroom tiles are put to some use. A new Nek Chand and Rock garden is in the making"- Said Environment scientist, Bluekaysee at a conference, which was also attended by Discovery channel who offered cash to crash into the blue-tiling futile effort.

Awards announced

The great architect of the year award was received by the person-in-charge at Symbiosis who designed and executed the so-called-fountain. The pseudo-aesthetic moron who approved the design is rumoured to receive the first Nobel for helping the world in a major way with Design awareness.

Norwegian Nobel Committee cited the reason behind this nomination as to have helped many a student to spring back to life. One of the students in terms of anonymity told that the confidence instilled is students of various countries with the fountain installation is immeasurable. Many students who till date rued their fate of being the worst on planet earth in Design also got a fresh lease of life.

This award is also nominated for initiating & inculcating better design sense in students after experiential viewing. The awareness it brought is inexplicable, this taught our students how very good campuses can also be spoilt by men without mercy, said a press-ed release by Prof. Youcansee.

N.B: Special blue spectacles which nullify blue-effects are being donated to students. This helps in saving the retina and promises better vision possibilities even after viewing tragic constructions on planet earth.

Fest-O-Comm ! ! !

HEIGHTS OF (MIS)COMMUNICATION : (Click on the above picture;)

If not for this golden opportunity to l-"earn" my MBA in Communications Management from Symbiosis at Lavale, I would have missed meeting this unique plant accredited with a doctorate and a designation ! ! !

What will a so called foreign delegate on campus infer from this ?

That the tall, thin, long, leafless plant is Dr. S.B. Majumdar ? or is it that Dr. S.B. Majumdar looks like this ???

Even in local Govt Schools, the trees planted by eminent personalities are labelled as - Planted by "Xyz" on "xx/yy/zzzz"

Or is it that Symbiosis is privileged to write what they feel like?

Dear Symbiosis-INTERNATIONAL-University,

We ignored all your previous blunders, but this is three much ..errrr... TREE much for us to accept.

This is the actual FESTIVAL-OF-COMMUNICATION ! ! !

THE individuals and Society ? ! ! !

You can't blame symbiosis for not returning the mess fees for the 6 months when we are not on campus. Did you not read the MISSION statement before entering Lavale campus?

If you are not too sure about the nuances of the English Language, read this carefully.

The MISSION statement says - To create & to advance, to propagate and to apply knowledge in all fields for the sustained growth of the individuals and Society.

THE individuals mean some very specific people in the Symbiosis family. Obviously, it's not a mistake like you earlier thought it to be ;)

Now, for the rest of it, please watch closely, the "S" of the society is in capital letters, which again means the Symbiosis SOCIETY.

Now tell me, can you blame Symbiosis in any way for being whichever way they are? :P

Snake Scam !

The latest Movie Library

A new Cinema Library is added to the Symbiosis family. This species from PG2011 has got the unique habit of demanding movies that are yet to be released. She is currently flourishing in the IP of SIMC. After a lot of deliberations, the library is titled as "SD", though not after the rugged two wheeler.

THE BEST QUOTE AFTER "Jisko Maloom Hein USko Pata Hein"

""Develop your Eyesight into Vision"" - Sri Sri Suhas Maharaj !

Snake Charmers in News

After a flawlessly successful first and second semester, the task of fooling people with snakes came to an end for Aks Bridge Krish, the eternal snake charmer. He was caught on camera by a Papparazzi while DROPPING OFF a snake on the mountain top.

It was found that Aks Bridge never left the snake to the wild, but gave it a safe abode in a carefully constructed hole, which he visited once in a couple of days. The modus operandi was to carry it back to the GIRL's hostel or premises, when he found that the popularity chart came to a decline.

Any news of the snake used to prompt Aks to run with his latest acquaintance in a FLASH-y "DivX" player to a specific point in the entire girl's hostel, giving detectives the hint of a scam. If in case no one spots the snake, a rabbit would jump out of the window crying - "Snake, snake..", immediately making Aks Bridge run to the hostel.

This rabbit is also being questioned, said a Punjabi turned Mallu policeman MM, who was first to bring the scam to light.

Not only that, the charmer has got another harmer ...sorry... charmer with him in DivX of PR. DivX's roommate cites the courtship not for the love of the reptiles, but as yet another logic behind the well guarded flashy secret.

NOTE: All the girls are requested to note these points. ;)

• The stripes of the snake will be the same every time. Does the SIU's "tie-in-the-mess-too" uniform theory apply uniformly across all the creatures at Lavale; including the snakes ? - Jus pondering !@!

• The size of the snake caught will be the same. Is it that only snakes from nurseries and schools of the snake family stray to the hostels?

• Why is that the snakes are 95% of the time found only in the girls hostel or premises? Do the snakes have a liking to human females like the charmers ? ;) :P :P

The case is in the supreme court. Aks and DIVX please appear ! :P